Front Yard Sign

The leaves are falling in East Texas. Virtually every tree with leaves is shedding at least a few million leaves. The tree in our front yard drops its leaves a few million at a time. That means, that if I should be so inclined to clean up the yard, it would last less than 24 hours. If I don’t clean up all the leaves, then they just hang on until there is a high wind to scatter them all the way to the back yard where there is no tree.

This year, I am taking a new approach on getting rid of the leaves. No more raking, blowing, mulching and bagging. I’m putting up a sign - ‘Free Leaves, Take All You Want.’ If it works, I’m going into the sign business.

It’s got to be easier than cleaning up leaves.

PMO
©2014

Shop Until You Stop

So far I have avoided all the shopping mayhem. I am not a shopper. Being a typical grumpy old man, I buy only what I go to get. If I need a shirt, I go and get a shirt. It doesn’t matter to me what’s on sale between the shirts and the store exit. And, I hate to stand in line, so I don’t go to buy when the entire population of the country is in the stores.

Up until this year, I’ve had little problems with buying on-line. There are at least two sites that were down when I tried to buy a camera and a computer. I do hope that this is not a sign of things to come.

Maybe this year, I won’t buy any presents. Instead, I will just tell those folks we get for, that they can have what they want.  If they go to the store and get it. No on-line. You have to go and get it, on the second day after Christmas. That’s the prime return day for everything purchased that no one wanted. By the time they wait in the lines, they will have forgotten what they came to get.

Another of my wonderful plans on how to save money.

PMO
©2014

Turkey Report

Well, I survived another turkey day, although I thought I was going to die. The "crud" that I have had for almost a month, came on strong. But, we did have turkey and dressing and ham. Dessert is always my favorite because my number one daughter makes pecan pies. I only had two slices. That’s because someone must have taken the rest.

The usual three to four hour trip, one way, was extra fun because of my little plague. And, we stayed over at a motel. I checked in before my financial controller got there so I had a few hours to die, but I didn’t. I amused myself by counting the sheets on a roll of toilet tissue that claimed it had 473 sheet. Sure enough, they were all there. Then it was TV time. I hate televison. But, found a channel about survival in different circumstances. Now, I know what to do if I am ever in a hot air balloon that goes wild, and how to survive a flash flood in a car. My favorite was what to do if you get caught too close an erupting volcano.

We don’t have any erupting volcanos in East Texas, but if we get one, I know what to do.

PMO
©2014

Turkey Day

Okay, here’s the grumpy old man’s perspective of Thanksgiving.

Get up early, very early.

Load up the car with stuff including baked goodies that will only make you hungry while you enjoy a three to four hour drive.

Stop along the way and pickup some in-laws. Wait until they get ready to go.

Drive to another in-law house.

Wait, wait, and wait to eat.  By now the baked goodies have you so hungry you are capable of eating a live animal.

Finally, it’s time to eat.

Gobble gobble.

Rush to the TV to watch 24 hours of football. I hate football.

Nibble on left overs.

Go to bed.

Get up early again.

Drive another three to four hours.

Get home.

Unload the car.

Eat if there is anything in the pantry.

Go to bed.

Lie awake and wonder why it has to be this way every year.

I don’t think this is what God intended.

I'll be back in a couple of days.

PMO
©2014

Justice

Rioting, looting and burning on the streets of Ferguson, Missouri, all in the name of justice. I agree. Justice should be served. Justice would be every perpetrator arrested, tried and sentenced for crimes against the good citizens of that town. One report stated that all of the businesses destroyed were owned by black business men and women. That’s justice?

People have a right to protest. They don’t have a right to destroy the lives of innocent people.

Yes, it’s that simple.

PMO
©2014

What I think

Have you ever wondered why we have turkey on Thanksgiving? Well, I have. So, I did a little research and found absolutely nothing definitive. Some think it was because when the colonists sat down to dine with the Wampanoag Indians, beef and fowl were on the menu, according to letters and records.

Although historians cannot say for sure what type of fowl were served that day, a letter written by Edward Winslow does mention a turkey hunting trip before the meal. If that turned out like one of my hunting trips, they would have had peanut butter and jelly.

Ben Franklin wanted the turkey to be the national bird because it is a native bird to North America. We all know that didn’t work out for Ben, and the bald eagle became the symbol for the United States. I guess if Ben had gotten his way, we’d all be eating eagles instead of turkeys.

Although there is no historical documentation supporting the exact reason we have turkey on Thanksgiving, I think I have the answer. At least for modern day Americans.  It’s the sound that turkeys make.

Gobble gobble.

PMO
©2014

What'd I Say

As an official out of date grumpy old man, I find myself in situations that I just don’t seem to know the right thing to say. In fact, I often say the wrong thing at the wrong time. That’s probably why most people avoid me.

When someone says, "I’m gay." "What do you have to be so happy about?", is not the correct reply.

A woman sternly remarks, "I’m a feminist." Apparently you are not supposed to say, "I’m a male and I could tell by looking that you are a female, but thank you for telling me."

When some perky young server at a restaurant says, "What would you guys like?" Apparently, it is not correct to point out that I am a guy and my financial controller is a female.

A young unmarried woman shoves her baby son at you and asks, "What do you think about my baby?" Again, not knowing quite what to say, I have discovered that, "He’s a cute little bastard," is not the right thing.

Somebody should write a book on what grumpy old men are supposed to say.

PMO
©2014

Vote Time

It’s time to vote for new board members in our little commune HOA. They have sent out an official qualifications of the candidates. As I read them I wondered just what kind of people run this place. Social activities involvement, married with two kids, love to play golf, promise to not change anything and when they moved here and from wear, are the best of the qualifications of the three hopefuls.

Somewhere there just has to be someone that actually knows how to run a business, but not on the list of candidates or the current board for that matter. After careful review, I have to ask, "Why would anyone vote for these people to handle your dues and run the business of a country club?

I also notice that the dues are going up.

Guess the board members get free golf balls.

PMO
©2014

Na Na Na Nana

Better check the spelling of the title, but it means, "I get my way and there’s nothing you can do about it." The POTUS has proclaimed that an illegal action is good if it serves people that break our laws and meets a political agenda.

Illegal immigration is against the law. Taking action toward amnesty by one member of government is against the law. Maybe in this case, two wrongs make a right. He did say that he was not the King of the United States.

Only kings can do what they want to regardless of what the people want.

PMO
©2014

Have You Noticed?

Has anyone, besides me, noticed that our current POTUS thinks that he really is KOTUS? The Constitution is the foundation of this nation. When the foundation is trashed, everything falls.

You should be afraid. Very afraid.

PMO
©2014

Power Of The Purse

The language of Washington D.C. is money. It is money that drives everything that happens or doesn’t. Money is what gets people elected and keeps them in office - until they do something that cuts off the money supply. Money is why you and I have little influence, unless we speak as millions. Politicians spend most of their time raising money for the next campaign.

Interestingly enough, money can stop the current administration from trashing our immigration laws and opening this once great sovereignty to a waste land of those that come to take. Hey, you can’t blame the illegal immigrants. They get jobs that pay in cash and all the social services that tax paying citizens receive. And, they can send money back home.

One would think that the recent election would have sent a message to Congress that the people want immigration laws enforced. Apparently the POTUS has gotten the word. He does seem to miss a lot until he sees it on TV.

When, not if, he issues his executive order on immigration, not only will he violate the Constitution he will impose a greater financial burden on the American people. All congress has to do is simply cut off the money it will take to implement his plan.

In life, a lot of plans are cancelled by a lack of money.

Like me driving a Rolls.

PMO
©2014

Insanity Runs Amok

(Dallas Morning News - Associated Press) A woman in Texas City, Texas, whose four pit bull dogs entered her neighbors yard through a hole in the fence and killed their 10 year old beagle is suing the neighbors for $1million.

She says she was seriously injured on October 27, trying to stop the attack and retrieve the dogs. She says she suffered multiple serious bites and scratches and accuses her neighbors of failing to securely confine and restrict their dog.

The paper says that the woman’s attorney didn’t respond to calls seeking comments. I wish the paper had printed the lawyer’s name. I would have posted it with his/her name, address and phone number.

Nobody is going to get me to believe that the world hasn’t gone crazy.

PMO
©2014

Stripes With Pride

Kellogg’s Tony the Tiger says, "wear your stripes with pride," according to a story in the Detroit Free Press. Tony’s talking about gay stripes. The Battle Creek cereal maker is out to see that you know that homosexuals should be proud.  And, they want children to accept the lifestyle because someday they may be approached. 

I have questions. Why should anyone be proud of their sexual orientation? Gay or straight. What’s to be proud about? Over the years, I have known several homosexuals - male and female - and the subject just never came up about how proud they were. They just wanted to live their lives and go about their business.

I don’t understand the LGBT bullying people with law suits and protest to get recognition for what I do not know. There have always been homosexuals, and one of my friends who is a lesbian will tell you that it is not something you are born with. It’s a choice. She should know. She used to be married and has children.

If one chooses to live a life that is not the norm, then it is their choice. Just don’t try to force everyone else into accepting it. That’s like ISIS saying everyone has to be Muslim or die.

Sorry Tony, you have taken a bad position on this issue.

You may find your customers and stock holders don’t see the benefit from this.

PMO
©2014

Stickers

Since we moved two years ago, we have been showered with letters from charities soliciting money. We get at least one everyday. That’s about 600 in a two year period. And, they all send personalized return mail stickers as their free gift. So, you can stick them on your outgoing mail.

The problem is that we don’t have a lot of outgoing mail, except bills and I really don’t want my return to have cute puppies or an array of flowers. However I have been saving all the stickers, because I have a plan. I always have a plan.  I knew that sooner or later I would get enough of them to be useful. Well, I did.

I'm going to wallpaper the hall bathroom with them.

PMO
©2014

Chili Time

With all the cold weather across the country, we have had our share. Because my financial controller tells me that chili is for cold weather - she eats it in the summer, but not at home - I decided to make my usual batch. Four pounds. When I started making chili, I had to make enough to feed six people and four pounds worked out just fine. Besides, my cooking pot only holds four pounds. I have tried making lesser amounts, but it just doesn’t turn out the same. If we need only one pound, I make four and dip out a pound.

Cooking chili is not easy. You have to go through a lot of steps, including cutting up the meat into bite size bits and then bringing the whole concoction to a boil for just the right time, before you turn it down to a simmer for about six hours. Then, you have to put it in the refrigerator over night to let it "blend."

She’s still trying to convince me that chili is not just for breakfast anymore.

"How about if you have ribs with the chili?"

PMO
©2014

No Lies

Here’s another one of my genius ideas. I know I have so many that it’s hard to keep up. Anyway, how about a law for severe punishment for any politician that lies? I’m thinking life in prison at hard labor, but would be willing to settle for just deporting them to North Korea.

Politicians tell you what they think you want to hear and when they don’t do what they say, they make it sound like it was your fault. Or, they simply know that by the time they tell another lie, you will have forgotten about the first one.

It’s like the Justin Wilson story about two Cajuns. One said, "How come you told me that lie?" The second one replied, "Which one?"

If we could somehow, force politicians to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, the world might be a better place.

It would have to be a better place, because we'd have a lot fewer politicians.

PMO
©2014

News Flash

Attention Mr. and Mrs. America and all the ships at sea. Governments are corrupt, unskilled, inefficient, inept, power hungry, with no intentions of serving the people or providing for their safety or welfare and have no fear of answering to the electorate.

The modern media is all of the above with a focus on creating news.

Now that you know, quit asking, "How can they do that?"

A free service from a grumpy old man.

PMO
©2014

Billion Is Disappointing

I play a computer game that keeps score in dollars. I’ve been playing it for several years because it is a diversion from the daily routine. Sometimes, I play for an hour, or 15 minutes, or not at all. A few days ago, I realized that I was near 1 billion points. This was important because the display only had room for nine digits, meaning that I could go to 999,999,999 and then it would have to roll over, or crash or something.  I played the dang thing for an hour per day for about a week.  Guess what? It didn’t do anything. It just added another spot.

Now I have to go to 999,999,999,999 to see what happens.

I’m beginning to hate the game.

PMO
©2014

Thank You

To all that said, "Thank you for your service," to a Veteran November 11, we all want to say, "Thank you for remembering."
The free lunch was good too.
PMO
©2014

All the talking heads and political pundits are trying to dismiss the November 4^th election as a mandate to Congress to work together and compromise. It is not. It is an ultimatum to fix what’s wrong with this great nation or we will get someone that will.

Simply stated, the message is, S.T.O.P. - Stop The Obama Policies. Now!

Call and/or write your representatives and tell them to S.T.O.P. and then watch what they do.

There you have it! My political perspective for the day.

PMO
©2014

It's Personal

With all the talk about guns, I feel compelled to put in my two cents worth again. As I’ve stated before, guns are tools and are not for everyone. Please don’t buy a gun without doing some use and safety training. You can hurt yourself or someone else with these things. Don’t think because you took your new gun out and shot it the day you bought it that you are ready to defend America. Get some instruction and range time - often.

Nevertheless, let’s get on with what I wanted to say in the first place. Selecting a gun, especially a hand gun is personal. They come in numerous styles, shapes and brands, and all are not the same. That doesn’t mean they operate differently. They don’t. Basically, you have a revolver and a pistol. The revolver is the one that has the wheel that turns when you shoot and usually holds six rounds. A pistol can hold up to 17 or 18 rounds depending upon caliber. The caliber you select should be something that you can handle effectively. Trust me, you don’t want a 44 magnum for shooting all day at the range. And, most people don’t need a 50 cal either, except the Israeli military.

Take the time to shop for a gun. Handle them. See how they feel in your hand. Does it fit? That means can you hold on to it and fire it comfortably. Go to a range that allows you to rent guns and fire several different types, models and calibers before you buy.

Several years ago a friend and I went to a gun show because I wanted a particular pistol. I had read up on it and decided that’s the one I want. After locating a dealer that sold them, I held the gun and it felt pretty good, but not quite right. It occurred to me that I should shop around. You guessed it, I bought another brand and model. It cost a lot more than I planned to spend, but it is well worth it.

There you go. You have my gun lesson for the day. Remember, buying a gun is like buying underwear.  You want to be sure you get the right fit.

If you don’t, you will be constantly reminded.

PMO
©2014

Telepathically

I am posting telepathically today. If you think of something funny, that was me.

I stole this one.

PMO
©2014

Hey Dudes And Dude-ettes

This is your hippy dippy reporter reminding you that Washington D.C. voters overwhelmingly voted to legalize recreational marijuana for adults. The measure to legalize weed was supported by almost 70% of the voters. This makes it legal for those 21 and older, to grow and possess marijuana, but not sell it. Like that ain’t going to happen.

Yes, I know that Alaska and Oregon also passed similar measures, but those allow sales and open the door to more taxes. Perhaps in D.C. they don’t need taxes because they are sucking so much from the rest of the country. Not! Taxes will follow in the blink of an eye. Or, they may just charge a fee or require a permit. Those are not taxes - right?

In defense of what I would term ‘stupidity’, it may be the only way that the residents can stomach what government does, since they are so close to the White House.

It will be interesting to watch how the drug dealers are going to deal with State governments taking over their business. These can be some ruthless people using any means or methods to grab money and power.

Oops. I slipped back to talking about government.

PMO
©2014

Moochelle's Fault

All the talking heads and radio talk shows are spewing out reasons that the Democrats lost in Tuesday’s election. Reality is, Michelle Obama can take the blame for the Democrats losing so many spots. After she came out with her statement that she gave permission for anyone that voted to be allowed to have fried chicken.  She obviously forgot about all us redneck Republican voters.

If she had said ribs, the polling places would still be open with voters lined up.

PMO
©2014

Death, Marriage And Taxes

Roger Miller recorded an old song titled, ‘Lou Got The Flu And He Died.’ Well that’s how I feel. I seem to have contracted the East Texas version of Ebola. Whatever it is, I can understand when someone says, "There are worse things than dying." Yes, I went to the doctor and she did her routine and gave me a shot and a prescription. She did tell me I had a cold nose. I think she used to be a vet.

Not only am I going to have to die to get better, our 49^th wedding anniversary is today. My financial controller never quite knows what to expect from me. So, I told her we will do something really different and take a tour of all the local funeral homes. You know, check out a few caskets. I’ve heard they have made some real progress in those. I think you can get them now with Wi-Fi. After a full day of trying them out for size and comfort, a nice dinner at the local chicken shack. We can even go inside instead of using the drive through.

And, when we get home, we can get out the life insurance policies and tally up how much she gets if I croak.

She did seem to light up when I told her she doesn’t have to pay taxes on life insurance.

PMO

©2014

Vote - Get Chicken

I do hope you voted - or you can’t have fried chicken. In an interview on TV One, a cable station targeted at the African American audience, Moochelle Obama said, "I give full permission to eat some fried chicken after they vote - only after." Roland Martin, the host, didn’t ask what you had to eat if you didn’t vote. He did ask the leading question, "Can we do soul food after we vote?"

As I have mentioned before, when did fried chicken become soul food? Anyway, since she has appointed herself the supreme food czar, it appears that she moving beyond schools, where no one will eat the slop, to include all Black people. Maybe all Democrats.

So, to be safe, I hope you voted, which ever way, so you can get some "soul food" fried chicken.

If you didn’t vote you get turnip greens.

Hey! I’ve got my hand up. I voted. Where’s my chicken?

PMO
©2014

Exact Science

You may not want to hear this, but there is so such thing as exact science. New discoveries and further studies into existing science change current thinking everyday. What does it matter? It matters a heck of a lot.

Medicines that are supposed to be wonder drugs may turn out to be deadly drugs. What you are not supposed to eat today, may be the best thing for you to eat next week. Theories about everything that affects your life change regularly. What are you going to do, if tomorrow science says new studies find that smoking is really good for you?

You know, the moon really is made of green cheese?

PMO
©2014

Let Me Count The Why's

Often someone asks me, "How do you like living in East Texas?" My simple reply is, "I hate it and that’s putting it mildly." And, I have some very good reasons - at least to me.

First, I do not like the house we bought. My financial controller wanted the house and she gets her way 12 out of 10 times. As we begin to move a few things from the old place, on the first trip, I stepped out of my truck and thought I was going to die with pain. Plantar fasciitis. Up until that moment, I had never heard of it.

The movers broke, bent or bashed everything and then informed us that they really didn't have insurance that would cover the damages.  Oh, they tried to hide and cover us damages until they got out of the house, but I found some of them.

My next joy came while having a pizza, I broke a tooth. It’s true. A broken tooth on a Sunday night in a strange land is not where one wants to be. And, I have been sniffling and sneezing since the day I got here. Not to mention the headaches.

Then there is what I call, East Texas jungle rot", which covered my left hand and didn’t get better for almost two years. Yes, I went to doctors, which is another negative. I was spoiled to the doctor I’d had for almost 20 years. He actually knew something. I’ve had one internal medicine doctor tell me that there is no such thing as Lyme disease. Since I’ve had chronic Lyme disease since 1987, that really impressed me.

As I have written about in previous posts, if you need a plumber, painter, electrician, appliance repairman or other service, you are better served to go to school and learn how to fix everything yourself. And, if you do find someone, you had better get the job cost in writing. These folks have no intention of charging you what they tell you. Then, they act like they are doing you a favor by misleading you.

The cost of groceries is about 30% higher. Utilities cost twice what we used to pay. Phone and internet are terrible services from the only two providers and the rates are 50% higher that what we used to pay. Yes, they quote you a rate and then send you a bill for twice that amount. Then, they argue about what a good deal you are getting. Without exception, every service we’ve had to have, comes with a chuck in a truck, who greets you with an attitude of how can I stick it to you today. Even my banker didn’t tell the tax assessor to send the tax bills to me, and not the bank. The tax bill went directly to her and who knows where it went. We had to pay a penalty. She didn’t even say she was sorry.

If you have a few years, I can go on and on. But, you are probably thinking why don’t we move?

Daughter and two granddaughters - one with special needs - is why.

PMO
©2014

We're Watching You

It is reported that the New York State and Connecticut Democratic Committees are threatening people about voting on Tuesday. They are sending bullying letters that claim they can easily determine which potential voters cast a ballot. The letters are quoted as saying, "Who you vote for is your secret. But whether or not you vote is public record. If you do not vote this year, we will be interested to hear why not?"

Can they really know if you vote? Yes, they can find out, by requesting a copy of the information from your county officials. They can get the information down to your street address. The data is usually used to determine how many registered voters actually vote in a particular area, not for sending threatening letters.

I would suggest that everyone that gets such a letter, go vote a straight Republican ticket. And, take your neighbors with you to do the same.

Or, just sit by the door with a "Joe Biden" shotgun and wait for them to "ask why not?"

No such letters have gone out for Chicago.  There, they vote for you.

PMO
©2014