Superstitions

At this Halloween season, I’ve been thinking about superstitions. It is amazing how many there are and how many people believe in them. Every culture has their own, but many cross all lines. None the less, here are my thoughts about a few.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. This must have been started by the apple growers association.

A cat has nine lives. Why not eight or ten? Does this mean that when a cat runs in front of a big truck he has already used up eight? Who keeps records on the lives of cats?

Garlic protects from evil spirits and vampires. It will also protect you from social gatherings.

A rabbit’s foot brings good luck. Obviously, it didn’t help the rabbit.

Thirteen is an unlucky number. Tall buildings often don’t have a 13^th floor. Nor do airplanes have an aisle 13. Friday the 13^th is extra bad. What if something good happens on Friday the 13^th? Apparently it never has.

Clothes worn inside out will bring you good luck. Be careful, you could start a new fashion craze.

Washing a car will bring rain. Hey, this one is true, or at least it is at my house.

A person cannot drown before going under three times. What happens if you lose count?

And of course, it is bad luck to walk under a ladder, as is a black cat crossing your path.

What happens if you walk under a ladder and a black cat crosses your path on Friday the 13^th and you have your clothes on right side out?

Makes me shudder just thinking about it.

PMO
©2012

Phone Germs

Here’s another case against smart phones - I do love to hate them. Caroline Porter writes in the Wall Street Journal and post on Yahoo Finance, that cell phones can be very hazardous to your health. According to her story, Dr. Jeffery Cain, president of the American Academy of Family Physicians says, "Bacteria from a phone can cause flu, pinkeye or diarrhea."

That greasy film on the touch screen is reportedly a feeding ground for bugs, according to the report. And, there is no effective cleaner that will kill the bugs and not harm the screen.

Think about it. People touch that screen all day after doing who knows what and then they place the phone up to their face, nose and mouth. It’s kind of like sticking your face in a petri dish. "People are just as likely to get sick from their phones as from handles of the bathroom," says Dr. Cain.

If you read the users manual - nobody does - Apple forbids the use of window cleaners, household cleaners, aerosol sprays, alcohol and a host of other things from being used on the screen of their phones.

As you may have read in one of my previous tirades against my new phone, it appears that I am right again. Smart phones are bad.

I don’t use my phone often, so I haven’t experienced the flu or pinkeye yet.

My phone hasn't given me diarrhea, but it a real pain in the butt.

PMO
©2012

The Good News

My thoughts and prayers go out to all the people in the path of hurricane Sandy. I have friends in D.C. and Virginia and other parts of the northeast. Hopefully the damage will not be as bad as expected and there will be no loss of lives.

The prognosticators are saying it will be a historical storm. Let’s all agree that what ever it takes to get through it is what will be done.

The good news? The silver lining to the cloud? The rainbow?

The government is shut down for a few days.

PMO
©2012

How To Become A Saint

Have you ever wanted to be thought of as a saint? It’s easy. All you have to do is die. That’s it. The passing of a relative on my financial controller’s side of the family prompted me to think about how when someone dies, they are always spoken so highly of. In this case, the woman was not a nice person. She would come to family gatherings for the sole purpose of starting a fight and cussing everyone - men, women and children. And, this was at the moment she entered the door.  It really got nasty the longer she stayed.

But now, the dearly departed is fondly remembered as a real saint.

Not by me. But, what do I know?

PMO
©2012

UN Observers

In case you haven’t heard, the Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe, a United Nations partner will deploy 44 observers around the country on election day. Their goal is supposedly to report any suppression of minority voters to cast ballots for Obama. Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott has warned OSCE that they have no authority in Texas and could face criminal prosecution for violating state voting laws.

I have questions. Just who in hell do they think they are? Who allowed this to happen? What happened to American sovereignty?

If this doesn’t send a message about the intentions of the current administration, then nothing does. Mr. Abbott’s response is by Texas standards, quite mild - at least the Texas I know.

Don’t mess with Texas.

PMO
©2012

He's The Man

Yahoo News, CBS, and other news outlets have a story that seems to defy the laws of nature. A 96 year old man in India is claiming to be the world’s oldest father. His wife is 52 and having a child at her age is quite unusual. Their second son was born October 5^th according to one source.

The man, who still works in the fields, says it’s his clean living and diet that enables him to do what he wants to do. He eats a lot of vegetables and almonds. And, according to one report, this allows him to have sex three times per night. He did say he takes a nap in the afternoon.

His wife is planning to get a permanent birth control operation because they don’t want anymore children. Now, there’s a plan.

The 96 year old did mention that he wants to see his sons grow up and be productive members of society. They better grow up fast.

Note to self: put a large bag of almonds and lots of veggies on the weekly shopping list.

PMO
©2012

Don't Worry About Them

Politics and comics appear to run parallel to each other. As I have mentioned before, I read the comics first in my copy of the daily drivel. One of my favorites is "Dilbert" by Scott Adams. Like politics, the strip wouldn’t be funny if it weren’t so true.

Today, I borrow a line from the "pointy hair boss" when he spoke about the company's customers, "We don’t worry about the smart people, there are so few of them." Now, isn’t that just like politicians? They don’t worry about the people that actually have a grasp of what’s going on. There are just not many of them. Therefore, they can’t vote them out of office.

Abe Lincoln is attributed with saying, "You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time." I wonder if he were alive today if he would want to retract that statement?

I still think everyone that is allowed to vote should have to pass a written exam on the issues and candidates. But, that would mean that only smart people could vote and they would be harder to fool.

We can’t have that.

PMO
©2012

Perfect Day

Sarah B. Weir, Yahoo Blogger to Living Well, reports a new study published in the Journal of Economic Psychology reveals the perfect day for women. Researchers used data from over 900 employed women.

According to the data, the average woman's perfect day would break down like this:

Intimate relations: 106 minutes
Socializing with friends: 82 minutes
Relaxing: 78 minutes
Prayer/meditation: 73 minutes
Eating: 75 minutes
Exercising: 68 minutes
Watching TV: 68 minutes
Shopping: 56 minutes
Cooking: 50 minutes
Talking in the phone: 57 minutes
Computer/Email/Internet: 48 minutes
Housework: 47 minutes
Napping: 46 minutes
Childcare: 46 minutes
Working: 36 minutes
Commuting: 33 minutes

Not reported in the journal was the perfect day for men: sex, hunting, fishing, golfing, watching sports on TV, and doing nothing.

Men don’t assign time limits.  They take as much time as it takes.

PMO
©2012

Class Reunion

My high school class held a 50^th reunion on Saturday. It coincided with the Peanut Festival and my in-laws 70^th wedding anniversary. It just don’t get any better than that. NOT !!

The "Peanut Festival" is an annual event in the little burg where I grew up. It is a celebration of what used to be a major part of the economy in that area. I’m not sure if there are any peanut growers left in the area. Horse ranches have taken over. There was only one horse in the big parade. I guess that is because we are not supposed to eat horses. Anyway, it is a town event that features booths, carnival rides, all kinds of foods, loud music and thousands of people wandering around wondering what the whole thing is all about.

There were only about 50 people in the class of ‘62 at the little school where I went. Six of them have passed on.

I spent a couple of hours at the reunion. Remember I had the Peanut Festival and wedding anniversary to share my time. It is always interesting, I suppose, to see how people change physically. All the guys got shall we say, a lot less "dashing." And, let’s just say that some of the girls are now, "just a little bit pretty."

Their temperaments changed too. Age has a way of changing what is important and how we have dealt with it over the years. I think all the guys were in agreement, we just don’t care anymore. The things we used to do, we can’t do and if we try, we do regret it. The ladies seemed to agree that bossing the men around is very important. I don’t know why, because we don’t care.

It is nice to see some familiar faces - after they told me who there are. Name badges helped a lot. High school is supposed to be the happiest time of your life. Maybe it was, but everyone seemed more content today.

It is said that time changes everything. It certainly has changed the class of ‘62. Well, except for the guy that became a doctor. He was hyper in school and he still is, although he told me that he is glad he got through that phase of his life.

Memory loss is a wonderful thing.

PMO
©2012

Who Is Drving

Nobody knows exactly how my brain works, including me. I just don’t seem to see things the way others do. Most people that know me do agree that I am crazy. They tell me this often. I accept their evaluation as a term of endearment. I’m not sure they all mean it that way.

My case in point today is that while driving down I35 to return home from an action packed, fun filled weekend with all the in-laws, I passed a school bus. I checked the side of the bus to see what school it was from. It said, "Texas School of The Blind."

I’m still wondering who was driving that bus.

If it had been night time, I wouldn’t have given it a thought.

PMO
©2011

Dumb Phone

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. Smart phones are not so smart after all. According to Yahoo Menshealth, smart phones are hurting your health. If you have read my recent post, within the past few weeks, you know how I am not dealing well with my new smart phone. It is nothing but an irritating miniature game boy. If I need to make a call that I can understand, I have to find a phone booth. And, now the experts are saying you should not hold your phone to your ear for long periods of time. It might cause brain damage. That would explain my financial controller’s thought processes. She talks on the phone constantly.

It seems that all that typing and tapping and swiping on your phone touchscreen is nothing more than a haven for germs. What ever you do, don’t text and wipe your eyes, according to the article, because you will run the risk of eye infection.

And, speaking of eyes, the tiny screen puts far too much strain on your eyes. Eye strain can cause eye problems, fatigue and headaches. I think the headaches are from trying to figure out what the heck is on the screen.

This one I already knew. Smart phones cause stress. You are never unreachable and all the calls, texts, emails and all that stuff can even make you think you got a message when there was none.

The solution: slowly wean yourself from the phone until you can spend at least two hours per day without using the dang thing. I strongly suggest that you submerse it in fifty feet of water and see what happens.

10,000 feet would be even better.

PMO
©2011

Newsweek

Newsweek, after almost 80 years, is terminating its print edition at the end of the year. The New Orleans Times-Picayune stopped daily editions earlier this year. They now print three days a week. Print media seems to be going the way of the horse and buggy.

I understand that I am old, but I like newspapers and news magazines. There’s just something about turning the pages and back and forth. You can read the fine print on the advertising and do a quick comparison of prices.

There was a time when every red blooded American boy wanted a paper route. Times, they are a-changing. Most major papers now have an online version to go with their print version. More and more are going to digital only. They don’t have to have a person to deliver a digital paper early in the morning.

As usual, I see some problems with digital newspapers and magazines. First, what are you going to read at the doctor’s office? Then, what are you going to use to train a new puppy? Don’t use a laptop. It won’t work. Not many people have pet birds, but what will we use to line a bird cage? Don’t forget about starting fires on the grill or fireplace. Newspapers are great for cleaning glass. You can’t do that with a laptop either. The list goes on and on, but most importantly, what will you do while you sit on the potty? I just can’t imagine reading an iPad or laptop there.

There’s a digital picture you don’t want to see.

PMO
©2011

Big Tex Is Toast

Big Texas, the official greeter for the State Fair of Texas is toast - literally. Apparently an electrical malfunction caught his clothing on fire. The 52 foot tall cowboy went up in a blaze of glory, standing his post.

The icon has been around for 60 years and greeted visitors with a "Howdy Folks" that everyone recognized. He was used for special announcements and spoke through out the day about various happenings.

No one was injured by the fire and the damage was contained to the big guy. The folks at the fair say Tex will be back next year.

It will take a while to gather up the materials. He wears a size 100, 75 gallon hat, size 70 boots, 180/181 shirt, and 284/185 XXXXXL size Dickie brand jeans. And, next year they say he will be bigger and better.

Everything is bigger and better in TEXAS.

PMO
©2011

Here's A Nickel

People deserve the politicians they elect. Cook County Board President Toni Preckwinkle wants to tax bullets to quell Chicago gang violence. A nickel per bullet and $25 for each firearm sold in the nation’s second largest county will surely bring those nasty murderers to their knees.

There have been over 400 homicides so far this year in Chicago. Back in the 90s, the average was 900 per year. I suppose they should have added the tax back then.

I am amazed and dumfounded by the minds of elected officials like Ms. Preckwinkle. Although she denies that the ordinance is nothing more than a way of raising taxes, I have found no explanation of how this is going to stop shootings. If she believes it will and if the people of Cook County believe likewise, you would be well advised to avoid them. They may have something contagious. It just may be that stupidity may be communicable.

It isn’t the radical terrorists that frighten me. It is some of the people elected to office and the people that vote for them.

If you don’t shoot someone, can you bring in the empty casing and get a nickel back?

PMO
©2011

Say What?

Did you watch the presidential debate. I only watched a few moments, because I just can’t stand any more politics. Although, politicians can be a form of  entertainment.

All the talking heads seemed to be focused on Libya and the death of our ambassador. But, my favorite part was when Obama stated that he had completed all of his commitments and those that were not complete were not because he had not worked to get them done.

Just let that sink in for awhile.

PMO
©2011

Dogs Have Problems Too

Do you realize that dogs have problems? Well they do. First, we have been doggie sitting for several weeks. There are those that say that I like dogs better than I like people. They would be right. All a dog will do is bite you. People can really hurt you.

Back to the story. Sparky and Walter, the two dogs, love to stay with me because they get pampered and petted. At home they don’t often get left over steak, cut up in small bite size pieces. They get to roam around the yard all day and sleep inside at night. It’s a good life. But, sooner or later they have to go back home. It is a real shock for several days when they look at plain old dog food in a bowl.

And, Sparky, a Corgi, now has a new problem. He is accustomed to chasing anything that walks, flies, crawls or rolls. Since his new home is in East Texas, he is now faced with short legs and tall trees. In the Dallas area, he would run up to a tree and scope it out for squirrels or birds. Now, he can’t see the top of the trees. He almost turns over backward trying to look up a tree that is over 50 feet tall. He has the saddest look on his face. "There just has to be a squirrel up there somewhere."

Walter is no help. He is still standing and staring at the supper dish.

PMO
©2011

Super Spiders

Spiders are one of my least favorite creatures on this planet. Since we have been staying a few days at the house in East Texas, I have discovered there are roughly a million spider species here. And, that’s just the ones I’ve seen at my house.

There are brown ones, black ones, red ones, big ones and little ones. Some of them have claws and big teeth. They all like to attach themselves to me.

And, they are fast. I mean really fast. If I go through one of the gates in the yard fence, there is a spider web. If I come back through that same gate in less than 5 seconds they have already built a new web. There is just something creepy about walking through spider webs.

It seems to me they would get tired or run out of spider web stuff. Not the case.

Super spiders!

PMO
©2012

Finding My Way

It has been many years since I have lived in a small town. Even though we are just in and out on the house in East Texas, I know I need to get the lay of the land and find essential locations like a good hardware store and a place to get barbeque.

The barbeque place was easy. It is on a main road. But a hardware store on the same road was harder to find. It sets off the road in a grove of really tall trees. But I found it.

Now I know what people do in small towns. They gather at the hardware store, wait in line to pay for their purchases, and talk politics to everybody.

I’m still not sure who won the vice presidential debate, but I now have a bunch of opinions.

And, I got a quart of special oil for my saw.

PMO
©2012

Toyota Recall

Toyota has a 7.4 million vehicle recall because of a fire hazzard in the motor that controls the windows from the driver’s door. This comes on top of a recall of nearly 7 million vehicles for a problem with carpeting that could cause the accelerator to stick.

Can you imagine the long lines to get the problems fixed? I sure hope they don’t send everybody to one shop for repairs.

Back in the "day" we would have never had such problems. We rolled each window up and down with a handle. And, there was no carpeting. All you had was a rubber mat on the floor. This made cleaning the floor easy. All you had to do was open the doors and hose it out.

I liked rolling windows up and down and being able to just wash out the floor. And, if you were lazy and left all the windows down and it rained, there was no fire danger.

But soggy seats could be a problem.

PMO
©2012

It Can Get Worse

We’ve all heard, "It can’t get any worse." Don’t you ever believe that. It can and in my case often does get worse. Take a simple request for phone, internet and TV service at our house in East Texas. What could possibly go wrong? The better question is what could possibly go right.

Here’s some more free advice. If you have to deal with such services, be absolutely sure that you are dealing with the company you think you are. There are numerous third party companies that are contracted with major service providers. And to sum up the service you get from the one I had to deal with, #@^&*#$+@!!! I assumed that when I call the number listed for service I was dealing with a phone company. The recording choices led me to believe the same. Wrong.

After placing an order and being told I would get a confirmation email and phone call, I waited. When nothing happened I called a customer service number. What I found out did not make me happy. The third party company only placed part of the order and got that wrong. Long story short, it took over four hours to get things back on track and that is a definite maybe.

With my luck, every time the phone rings the TV will come on and the internet connection will go down.

I wonder what would happen if there really were any competent people at these companies?

Makes me shudder just to think about it.

PMO
©2011

Do Not Call

Reuters reports that Florida Governor Rick Scott gave out a phone sex number to Floridians seeking information on a deadly fungal meningitis outbreak there. According to the report, Scott gave out the number at a cabinet meeting on Tuesday, but it was obviously the wrong number. Governor Scott apparently misread the number. He was able to correct it about 20 minutes later at the same meeting, but it was too late. A public radio station in Tampa was monitoring the meeting and posted it on their website.

Hopefully the corrected number is clearly posted now.

I don’t know if those without the dreaded disease are still calling the wrong number.

PMO
©2011

Wealth Redistribution

This is a rhetorical question, "Has everyone forgotten the rule of cause and effect?" There is a mind set today for share the wealth, redistribution and all that jazz. Does anyone that spews this philosophy have any idea of the consequences? Don’t answer that question either.

My case in point today concerns a ten year old girl in San Antonio, Texas that refused to share her ice cream with another child. That child’s mother slapped the ten year old because she refused to share. Then she attacked the child’s mother and punched her. Before you ask, the attacking woman was charged but that’s not the point.

Have we evolved into a society that believes that we are entitled to whatever someone else has? Go ahead and answer that question. How do you like the answer?

I’d like to think that people just can’t be so stupid as to attack a child because she refused to give up her ice cream.

Apparently I am wrong.

PMO
©2011

Wally

I always read the comics in the newspaper first, because that’s usually the only thing that makes sense to me. In my Sunday daily drivel, I read "Dilbert" by Scott Adams. Wally, my favorite character offered up some of his usual wisdom. "I like to have opinions. But not informed opinions. It takes so much work to get informed that it defeats the whole point of having an opinion in the first place," said Wally. According to him, the purpose of having an opinion is to feel good.

I have said most of my adult life that business does not pay taxes. Not one single cent. Consumers pay all the taxes when they buy a product or service. However, since I am not qualified to make such an opinion, I’ve found another source. He always seemed to have an informed opinion.

"The most dangerous myth is the demagoguery that business can be made to pay a larger share, thus relieving the individual. ... Business doesn't pay taxes, and who better than business to make this message known? Only people pay taxes, and people pay as consumers every tax that is assessed against a business. ... If the tax cannot be included in the price of the product, no one along that line can stay in business." – Ronald Regan

I bet that hurt to be so informed.

PMO
©2011

More iPhone

Alexander Bell would have destroyed his invention if he had known that it would some day become an iPhone. And, to be clear, I am not picking on the iPhone. All the other similar devices are just as annoying to someone that just wants to make a simple phone call. The iPhone is just the one I have.

Get real, who really wants to watch YouTube or stream a movie on a screen you can’t see, even with trifocals. Since email annoys me on the computer, why should I want to send or receive one on a phone. And, I don’t text, sext, or tweet, or use Facebook. Let’s face it, I have been left behind. That’s okay. I was happy being left behind.

My daughter and granddaughters send text messages. I call them back and ask what is it you are trying to tell me.

I now realize that Mr. Bailey, my eighth grade geography teacher was the first to text. He would put messages on the blackboard. "AB CD QP OM S NO QP O S MS A QP." Mr. Bailey must have been a visionary and realized that one day, this would be how people communicated.

Mr. Bailey always wore a brown bow tie on the days we had a pop quiz - a surprise exam.

I hope God isn’t wearing a brown bow tie and holding an iPhone when I get to heaven.

PMO
©2011

Best Quote

I did not watch all of the presidential debate.  It is my practice to minimize the amount of political drivel in my life.  I'm more of a Sargent Friday kind of guy; "Just the facts."
Obviously Obama did not fair well in the debate.  Even his supporters commented about how poorly he did.  The best quote came from Stephen Colbert; "Obama hasn't done this poorly since he debated Clint Eastwood."
I don't care who you are.  That's funny.

PMO
©2011

 

I'M Back

Well I’m back. At least for a few days. It has been another series of life events for the past several days. We closed on the house in East Texas, an old friend died, and I got an iPhone.

I don’t need an iPhone, don’t want an iPhone, but I have one. My cell phone is tied to my daughter’s account, so she got me one. So far I have learned to turn it on and off. And, I have discovered there is not an app for grumpy old men to learn how to use this dang thing. It is beyond my limited understanding why anyone would want such a device.

The presidential debate has passed. I missed most of it. I just wish I could miss most of the term of whom ever wins. It won’t matter, I suppose, I’ll spend the next four years trying to figure out the iPhone. Is Siri supposed to say "*#@%+#@*?"

At least for today, it’s back to onward and upward, where ever that is.

I really wish the iPhone had a rotary dial.

PMO
©2011