What’s the secret to staying married for over 50 years? I get asked that question often, as others do that have hit or passed the big 50. Well, I suppose the first thing that each party must do is suppress the urge to strangle the other one.
Every marriage has problems, and there are no instructions on how to handle them all. You just have to "wing it." It takes a lot of "winging it." Certainly love is not enough to keep two people together. There are divorces everyday with two people still loving each other. You have to like the other person, and you can’t make the other person like you. It just has to be there.
Certainly, forgiveness is a big factor. Both asking for forgiveness and giving same. And, there can be some mighty big things to forgive. Then, you have to forget, or at least bury it. That’s where you test your love and like.
It is helpful that you discover those things you have in common and do them. Marriage is strange, because opposites do attract. Hey, fishing is not everybody’s idea of a perfect day. Nor, it spending a day shopping. It is important that you both realize that you need time apart, but work toward being together.
Being helpful because you want to is also important. But, be careful. Be helpful on only those things that you can actually do. Likewise, appreciating help is important.
There are as many different reasons to stay married all your lives as there are marriages.
If asked the question the best answer just may be, "I can’t tell you. It’s a secret."
PMO
©2017
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