Risk Free

Since the Nannies want a "risk free" world, I’ve decided to make a list of things that may be hazardous to your health.

Smoking - proclaimed as the single greatest threat - just one puff can kill you or even more dangerous, to smell just one puff.

Drinking alcohol- not really a danger to the elite, but may be to others.

Peanuts - for those rare unfortunate few, can cause serious and even deadly consequences. They should be banned and peanut farmers should be shot.

Automobiles - only extremely small cars are acceptable - the kind that will carry one or two people at most.

Candles - actually some researchers have proven that candles provide a greater health risk than smoking. So again, these should be used only by the elite Nannies and their approved serfs.

Shopping carts - yes, shopping carts. Research has revealed that a majority of them have fecal materials on the handles. There is a danger of salmonella.

Hair spray - hey, these contain butane, propane and acetate disguised by a fragrance. At least the containers carry a warning not to use around open flame.

Food - any food that tastes good may kill you.

Indoor air - indoor air may be worse than outdoor air because of all the off-gassing from carpet, plastics, chemical, paint and people.

Outdoor air - when you can see the air, it is not good.

Driving - driving is dangerous. Driving while texting is more dangerous.

BB guns - you can put an eye out.

Sports - any kind of sport is dangerous. I’m not sure if watching sports is dangerous, but it could be.

Medications - read the side effects and you wouldn’t take even an aspirin.

Chemicals - any chemicals can be harmful or cause death - especially perfumes used as if soeone is trying to cover up a dead body.

Water - may be safe for washing when using soap, but soap is not safe. It has chemicals.

And, the list goes on and on and on. There is virtually nothing that can’t hurt you, make you sick or kill you.

To live risk free, don’t eat, drink, bathe, breath, do anything or go anywhere. Now, there’s a life for you that would make a Nanny proud.

PMO

©2011