The problem with getting old is, getting old. And, despite medical advances, you just can’t get all the parts for things that wear out. Sure, you can get an artificial knee, a heart by-pass, dental implants, various eye surgeries to restore vision and a multitude of pills to put some pep back in your step. But, you can’t get parts for the mind.
My in-laws are rapidly going into dementia. My father-in-law can’t remember what he had for lunch, even if he’s still sitting at the table. Mother-in-law is not far behind. But, she still thinks she is quite capable of taking care of both of them. The question is when and what do you do with parents that you fear for? What if they hurt themselves? What if they hurt someone else? How do you "make" them understand that they need constant supervision, just like you did when you were a child? You can’t spank them and make them go to their room.
There is also the issue of what you do you as a child, wanting to let them be as independent as possible but knowing that you will know before they do, that they have to be protected. You have to understand that you can’t give in to their wants anymore than they gave in to yours as a child when you were incapable of making sound decisions. It is a horrible part of life, for both the parent and child. But, it is a part.
Both my parents died a long time ago. Fortunately or unfortunately, they died long before they hit the stage that in-laws have reached. Now I have to be a part, like it or not, to dealing with a situation that only gets worse until the inevitable. The best you can hope for is that you can live with the decisions you have to make - right or wrong.
The trick is not to look back, except on the right ones.
PMO
©2014
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