United ?????

Politicians know that if you want to control people you have to keep them divided. I must say that the current batch in Washington is doing an outstanding job. But, I have been thinking about what we Americans might all agree upon, as a uniting point. Guess what? I can’t think of anything. I’m not sure we could get a consensus on what day it is.

So, I called my friend, Dr. Wild Bill, the retired preacher and avid squirrel hunter to get his ideas. He couldn’t think of anything either. He said he would agree it was Tuesday.

I couldn’t agree with that.

PMO
©2014

Compost Or Else

According to a recent report by the Associated Press, residents in Seattle will be fined if they remove food waste from their trash. A new ordinance which goes into effect next year, will impose a $1 fine on violators for each occurrence of having more than 10% of trash that could be composted.

San Francisco also has a mandatory composting ordinance.

As usual I have questions. Because meat, bones and skins don’t compost, are they allowed? Vegetables that are heavily seasoned with butter or meat scraps won’t compost either. Are the collectors going to test or taste them to see if they pass. And, how do you tell exactly how much is 10%? Won’t it take a lot of extra time to go through trash just to issue a $1 fine?

Let’s say that homeowners comply, what are they going to do with all the compost? Put it on their flower beds or yard. What happens if you don’t have flower beds or much of a lawn? I suppose you could put it on your neighbors. Knowing me as I do, I would probably just put the food scraps in my neighbor’s yard to begin with.

Why doesn’t Seattle also require composting toilets? Yes, they do make these things.

That way they could get to residents, coming and going.

PMO
©2014

Drivers License

My youngest granddaughter now has a drivers license. She passed the driving exam on the first try with a score of 98. Now all I have to do is to learn to live with the fact that she is growing up, even if I don’t want to admit it. She was a lot easier to deal with when she was a baby and thought granddad was fun to be around.

I did not pass my driving exam on the first try. It seems that they did not want a new one way street on the route I had to take. It looked like one way to me.

Getting a license has changed a lot since I was a kid. We had to study a handbook. Now, they just go online and take trial exams until they are ready for the real thing. We had to go to a State Police station and wait. Now, they make an appointment. Now they place the burden of learning how to drive upon the parents. Way back then, we got someone to show us how to shift a manual transmission and then we just took it from there.

To celebrate granddaughter’s accomplishment, we all went out to dinner. When I got my license, I was sent on an errand. I still go on errands.

In the old days, we didn’t have seat belts, air bags, crash bumpers, backup cameras and warning lights. We had cars built like tanks and curb feelers for parallel parking.

You had to be tough to get a license back then.

PMO
©2014

Old People Problem

Because I work with two retiree clubs and a gated community information system, and because I am a self appointed expert on human behavior, I suggest that I have found the number one problem with old people. No, it’s not all the wrinkles and blue hair. And, it’s not the fact they are falling apart. As I’ve said before, "Never, never, never ask an old person how are you?" They will tell you. For hours in great detail.

Sadly in addition to all the things they forget, they forget how to laugh. Everything is so dang serious. Perhaps it is because they can only handle so much information and frustration. Or, maybe it’s because they just don’t take time to relax and have a belly laugh. Well, in some cases that would be a big laugh. The point is that old people are old because they have forgotten how to be young. If nothing else, we may as well laugh at ourselves.

Everybody else does.

PMO
©2014

It Continues

Since we moved to East Texas, I have experienced some weird things that puzzle me. Like why charcoal at the Wallyworld is in the toilet paper aisle or candy in bicycles. I don’t ask why. But, I may need an explanation on my latest event.

I ordered a product online and had it shipped to my house. The sender sent it via FedEx. It was due to arrive on a Thursday, so I checked the porch a few times to see if it had arrived. I went back online to track the shipment and discovered it was delivered the Saturday before, according to the driver. I called FedEx to find out what happened. They promised to investigate and call me back. Here is where the plot thickens.

A neighbor two doors down and across the street called and said they had a package for me that was delivered on Thursday. Then, they told the rest of the story. It seems that the delivery truck parked in front of my house and the driver came to the door. Then he went to another neighbor’s house and left the package on the back porch. That’s where my neighbor picked it up because they knew that neighbor was out of town for a few weeks.

I’m guessing that the driver must work part time at Wallyworld.

PMO
©2014

Myths And Lies

There are so many myths and outright lies that are presented as the truth today, I though I would list a few of them for you.

Only men cheat in a marriage or relationship.

Only white people are racist.

Abortion is a woman’s right.

There is a war against women.

Politicians are smarter than you are and know what’s best for you.

Illegal immigration is not illegal.

Sexual assault is anything someone wants it to be.

People cause climate change.

Alternative lifestyles deserve special treatment.

One whiff of second hand smoke will kill you.

Smoking marijuana is good.

Men and women are equal in everything.

Women have special rights.

Proving you are a citizen to vote is wrong.

Rich people are evil. (Except celebrities)

Someone owes me a high standard of living.

Guns kill people.

Christianity should be banned.

The list could go on and on, but here’s an old favorite:

I am from the government and I am here to help you.

PMO
©2014

Miracle "Drug"

For many years there have been numerous case studies and trials on a simple miracle "drug" that often reducing suffering, pain, and in some cases may cure illness. Patients just get better when this treatment is applied. Yet, it is seldom used despite the cost is usually nothing. Doctors don’t prescribe it and pharmacies don’t sell it. But it works.

The miracle "drug" is simply laughter. Time and time again in study groups, some with terminally ill participants, there is a positive result.

For best results use daily.

A day without laughter is a day without living.

PMO
©2014

No Seconds

When I drive alone or with somebody, I usually listen to talk radio. Such was the case on my way to the grocery. The topic of the few moments I got to listen was school lunch menus and some crazy rules. The host explained that schools were not allowed to offer students seconds - as if they would want them. According to the host, schools had to throw the food away and could not even serve the next day.

Old crazy me looked at the official government website that explains such things. First, let me say that the items offered to students may be healthy according to someone, but it is unhealthy not to eat and that’s what a lot of students are doing. Anyway, the official site proclaims that it is a myth that students can’t have seconds and schools can use the left over food the next day. Just imagine, a left over corn and Johnson grass sandwich with lime juice, on whole wheat pita bread.

The point of the story is that there is so often, misinformation, misunderstood information and misapplied information. Who can you believe? A radio talk show host or the Federal Government?

Has the government ever lied to you?

PMO
©2014

Greater Threat

According to a report in the New York Times, a group called Khorasan, also based in Syria, may be more interested in bombing the U.S. mainland that ISIS. The leader of this group was reportedly very close to Osam bin Laden and one of the few that knew about the 9-11 attacks in advance.

It seems now that there is a competition to see who can get the U.S. first. While there will always be wars and rumors of wars, it appears that most groups today are agreed on destroying America.

The question of the day is, "Which is the greater threat to destroying the USA?"

"Them or us?"

PMO
©2014

Math Problem

Back in the old days, the following would be a typical math exam question. See how you do.

WAIT ! No calculators, computers or electronic devices of any kind. You have to use a #2 pencil and notebook paper which you have to turn in.

"Bob decides he will treat three of his friends to lunch. The first one ordered a meal that cost $6.00. The second one ordered a meal that cost only $4.75. And, the last one ordered a meal that cost $7.25. He must have had cheese and fries with that. Bob’s meal cost $5.50.

All four of them had a drink which cost $1.75 each. The sales tax on the lunch is 8 ¼ %.

Bob only had two $20 bills, so he had to wait until he got change to leave a tip. He always tips 15%.

After he paid the bill and the tip, how much did Bob have?"

Give this to any recent high school graduate.

Chances are, they may not know what a #2 pencil is.

PMO
©2014

Hard To Argue With

Just when we think we are so smart, along comes a story like the following:

Indian Chief Two Eagles was asked by a white U.S. government official,  "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done."

The Chief nodded in agreement.

The official continued, 'Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?'

The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied, "When white man find land, Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water. Women did all the work, Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex." Then the chief leaned back and smiled, "Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that.."

I have enough Indian blood and too much good sense to argue with that.

PMO
©2014

United?

Scotland has voted to remain in the United Kingdom. It’s probably a good thing because just think of all the details that would have to be worked out. But, the vote has gotten me thinking about how such a vote would go in Texas.

If only legal voters were allowed to vote, I suspect that Texas would secede by a vote of about 90%. This would upset a lot of folks, especially in Oklahoma, Louisiana and Arizona. They would want to vote too.

Texas wouldn’t have a lot of details to work out. We’d just put up a sign.

"If you don’t like it - Leave."

PMO
©2014

Top Religions

No one knows for sure how many religions there are in the world. From a little research, a good guess is about 4,000, give or take a few hundred. Christianity is the largest with about two billion believers, with Islam, 1.3 billion, second and growing quickly.

It’s easy to understand why Islam is growing so much. If you don’t join up, they will kill you. At least that’s what is happening in parts of the world.

Hinduism and Buddhism are next in order. You don’t hear much about them. Judaism, which seems to upset so many people, has only about 15 million followers. I don’t understand why everyone gets so mad at them. Maybe, it’s those funny hats.

Then, there are the true top two religions in America. Bet you thought Christianity was number one.

Football and golf.

PMO
©2014

September 17, 1787

"We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America." --Preamble to the Constitution, George Washington and the Delegates to the Constitutional Convention, September 17, 1787.

You don’t hear much about Constitution Day on radio, TV or in the newspapers. Maybe that’s because it has been erroneously assumed that "the people" know about the Constitution.

Our nation's second president, John Adams, warned, "A Constitution of Government once changed from Freedom, can never be restored. Liberty, once lost, is lost forever."

Think about that for awhile and I’ll get back to you.

PMO
©2014

More Evidence

A little road trip this week caused me to further believe that Americans are officially dumb. Motoring along the interstate I couldn’t happen but notice a billboard with a picture of a young girl and big bold letters. "Human trafficking. It’s not okay."

Everyone that thought it was okay, raise your hands. Someone must believe that everyone thought it was okay or else they would not have put up that sign.

Human trafficking is a serious and heinous crime. If it’s not worse than murder, it is equal to it.

Now, that we all know that human trafficking is not okay, I suppose we’ll have to wait for another sign to tell us what to do about it.

They better keep that sign simple too.

PMO
©2014

Death Penalty

According to Newsmax, the 2013 International Religious Freedom Report found in some Islamic - majority countries, Muslims who convert to Christianity or another religion face execution. In Afghanistan, where American troops are fighting and dying, Islam is the religion of the state and conversion is considered an act of apostasy, punishable by death if the convert does not recant, according to the report.

There are numerous countries listed in the report including Saudi Arabia, where apostasy can result in death. Iraq, Iran, Sudan, and Qatar are among the list.

It is also interesting to note that any child fathered by a Muslim is considered a Muslim, regardless of the mother’s religion. How about that?

In the Baptist church, we don’t have punishment like Muslims. But, you can be seriously injured if you are not careful.

You might get a fork in the back of your hand if you reach for the last piece of fried chicken at a pot luck dinner.

PMO
©2014

History

The problem with history is that it keeps repeating itself. For a whole bunch of years, people have tried to take what someone has because they think it is theirs. Therefore there has always been wars and rumors of wars. Such is the case today.

Now, the Pope has said that we are in the beginnings of world war three. Could be. I don’t know and neither does he. If one takes time and looks around what is happening in the world, it is easy to conclude that something major is happening and it’s not going to get any better. Why? Because history repeats itself.

Weren’t you paying attention?

PMO
©2014

Keep Quite

When you’re young, you do a lot of stupid things. Sometimes they are so stupid that you are lucky to get out alive. As you age, you start to realize how stupid some things you did really were - hopefully. The trick is to learn by living and not making the same mistakes over again. For some, that’s just too hard to do.

If you do wake up and try to minimize stupid actions, you’ll start to notice others and what they do. The advice for today is to just shake your head, keep quite and hope that someday they will realize that actions that make no sense are not good for them.

If you don’t keep quiet, you’ll be called a grumpy old man.

PMO
©2014

Cost Of Education

I really don’t know what the cost of tuition and board is for an ivy league school is today. There is no reason for me to know. But, just guessing, a top school could cost a half million dollars or so. Local colleges are a lot less and state universities will not likely put you so far in debt that you can get out if you try. The point is that education is a lot higher than it was when I went to school. My last two years cost me only books and fees. Since I didn’t use books, I got out for fees. Heck of a deal.

Regardless of what the going rates are, the true cost of education comes after graduation. Somewhere there should be a college of "hard knocks." It could be totally devoted to teaching life events that cost anyone that has not experienced them. Remember, the ones that could teach have already spent the dollars to learn. I’m thinking about 200 semester hours to graduate. That may not be enough.

The first class required could be "If it sounds too good to be true, it is - 101." Form there, you would have to pass, "Read the fine print."

And, then you would have to learn, "There is no such thing as a free lunch."

PMO
©2014

Crazier

Every day I read news from across the country. I really need to quit doing it because all it does is add evidence to what I already know. This country is crazy. But, here is one that I’ve seen before. From WJBK, Rochester, Michigan, comes the story about Lieutenant Colonel Sherwood Baker being banned from his daughter’s school because he went there in uniform. He was told by Rochester Adams high school security that if he wanted to get into the high school with his daughter, he would have to go home and change clothes. Security told him men and women in uniform weren’t allowed because it may offend another student.

Rochester schools superintendent Robert Shaner took care of the situation and apologized to the family.

Does security wear uniforms? If the school has a situation and the police are called, what happens?

Guess they have to show up in their underwear.

Crazier !!!!!

PMO
©2014

Herding Cats

Okay, here we go again on dealing with retirees. I do understand that I may not be the best communicator, but I do go into great detail in explaining what is required to attend the retiree meetings I manage. It don’t mean a thing.

There has to be a cut off date to sign up for attending. Why does not everyone understand this? The cost to stay for lunch is simple. Why did someone send me $2 in cash to pay for his lunch? It costs a lot more than $2. And, why did I get a check for the correct amount, but the check wasn’t signed? You really don’t want me to go on.

Someone said my job is like herding cats.

That’s why I’m a dog person.

PMO
©2014

Dividing Line

In case you have noticed, America is a divided nation. On one side you have those that are for big government; government handouts; pro abortion; pro homosexuality; pro drugs; pro socialism education; pro special privilege for select groups; anti-capitalism; anti-guns; anti-Christianity; anti-anything that does not fit their thinking or beliefs and hate for anything logical or factual.

On the other side you have those that are for one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

PMO
©2014

The Secret

My mother-in-law (bless her heart) loves to talk. She can’t help talking. She was an elementary school teacher for about 100 years. Even the pastor has told her that she would have to be buried 12 feet instead of six because she would still be going strong and it might bother others around her.

She and my financial controller talk daily. The tricky part is getting her to hang up after only an hour or two. No matter what my wife says, she just keeps on talking. I’ve tried to get wife to tell her that the house is on fire, armed robbers have broken into the house or a tornado has just blown the house away. She won’t do that. It would not have any effect anyway.

But, I have found the secret. She and the financial controller were in conversation when mother-in-law announced she had to go. The Dallas Cowboy football game was coming on. She ended the call. Now that we know, all we have to do is tell her that the game is about to come on and she will dash to the TV and turn it on and start switching channels until she finds it.

How do I get the Cowboys to play every night all year long?

PMO
©2014

TV Reception

We don’t have a lot of choices for televison reception in East Texas. There are two satellite companies, one cable, and the ever not popular, off the air antenna. The one thing they all have in common is that they don’t work very well.

Antennas don’t work because there are about a million trees in the way of the transmission towers. Oh, if you are willing to erect a 500 ft tower, you can get some reception. The satellite companies go off every time it gets cloudy. And, the cable service will be better they said. Just not in my lifetime.

I don’t watch a lot of televison, but I do like to catch a newscast or two and especially weather reports so I can hope that it rains and I won’t have to mow the lawn. The only way I can tell if it’s going to rain now is to turn on the satellite service.

If it’s not on, it’s going to rain.

PMO
©2014

Lemonade

In a Dunedin, Florida neighborhood, 12 year old T.J. operates a lemonade stand to raise money for summer activities with his friends and family. Sounds innocent enough. Wrong!

Doug W., a neighbor, says the stand is an illegal business that causes traffic and noise. He has complained to the city four times in the past two years. The city code enforcement department has simply replied that they are not in the business to shut down lemonade stands. In fact, the mayor has visited the stand and tasted the product. And, he says that he would like to talk to the neighbor to try to figure out what the problem is.

Turns out that Doug W. may be running a business out of his house and has avoided paying taxes on that business.

I had a lemonade stand when I was a kid. I built the stand, made the lemonade with the help of my mother and then sat in the sun until all the ice melted. I sold one cup that day. I had to drink all that was left over.

To this day, I hate lemonade.

PMO
©2014

Divided We Fall

Here’s another one of my questions. Have you ever heard the Prez say anything positive about America? He only speaks about how one group should be against another. Somebody needs to tell him that divided we fall. If we fall, he falls with us. That means, no more free golf.

There! That ought to get his attention.

PMO
©2014

Plumbers

I do not like people that deceive you, plot against you, withhold information and then present you with a bill that takes your breath away. Plumbers! Oh, I know that most people are basically honest, but my recent experience has really upset me with a company that I had confidence in. Never again will I use their service and will tell everyone I know. A simple story will explain.

A doctor discovers that there is a dripping faucet in the upstairs bathroom. He calls a plumber. The plumber arrives and promptly goes upstairs to fix the faucet. In less than five minutes he comes down and presents the doctor with a bill for $250. The doctor is shocked. He exclaims, "That’s more than I make and I am a doctor."

The plumber replies, "It’s more than I made as a doctor, too."

PMO
©2014

A Smile

I have stated before that no one or nothing takes priority over our special needs granddaughter. We had a plumbing problem and they had to go get parts and get them installed and all that stuff that plumbers do. I told them up front that I had to leave at a specified time to go pickup my granddaughter. When the time came, I prepared to leave the plumbers working although I would not be able to know what time they left - that affects the charges. These guys rushed to get done and finished about a minute before I had to leave. All they had to do was cover up all the holes they dug in the yard. I don’t know much time they charged me for because I wasn’t here when they left.

The point is that picking granddaughter from the school she attends is number one. I think they understood.

Why am I such a fanatic about her? A simple smile when she sees me.

There is no amount of money worth more than that.

PMO
©2014

Cost Per Pound

It is said that two of the happiest days in a man’s life are the day he buys a boat and the day he sells it. Tis true, tis true. I’ve had two such events. Now, my financial controller wants me to buy a fishing boat again. Funny, when I had one, she thought I went fishing too much.

In today’s world, a nice fishing boat can cost between $10,000 and $20,000. It depends upon how many bells and whistles you get. In Texas, you have to have one whistle - or a horn. Let’s just say the cheap boat is the choice - ten grand. From a lot of experience, let’s assume you will fish about 20 times per year. Now comes the math.

Ten grand divided by 20 is $500 per trip the first year. The second year cost goes down to $250 per trip. Plus, there is maintenance cost and the constant update for a new bell or whistle. By the third year your cost is down to $125 trip, but you find that it is getting to be a lot of hassle to drag the boat to the lake and then bring it home and work on it for about a week. Remember maintenance?

On two or three of those fishing adventures per year, you should actually catch some fish. Boy is it fun! But, if you calculate out the cost of the fish per pound, you will discover that you can eat at the best sea food restaurant a whole lot cheaper. Plus you don’t have to clean the fish.

And, I don’t eat fish.

PMO
©2014

Voter ID

There are folks that don’t want voter ID requirements. It is easy to understand why they don’t. Naturally the question always comes up, "Does voter ID prevent voter fraud or does it prevent some people from voting?" The answer is yes.

We now have voter ID in the Lone Star State and I haven’t had any problems because of it. Except that the people at the polling place laugh when they see my picture on my drivers license. Yes, the requirement is being challenged again and it will take months before anything is changed, if at all.

If I were running the elections I would support Dr. Ben Carson who suggests that candidates names not have which party they represent by them. No D or R or L or I. Then, I would require that each person pass a simple test before voting. It would be simple multiple choice asking the potential voter to pick out, from a list, those persons running for a particular office. Then I might throw in a few questions from the Constitution, like what is the first amendment? The whole process wouldn’t take two minutes and it would be pass fail. We could go so far as to publish the questions about a week before the election. NEVER going to happen.

It really doesn’t matter any way. Someone said, "It’s not the vote that counts, but who counts the votes." No, it wasn’t Joseph Stalin that said that.

He never had to run for election, but if he had, he would have counted the vote.

PMO
©2014