New Years Resolutions

Who decided that we should make New Year’s resolutions? It must have been "they." "They" decide everything.

So what are your resolutions this year? Loose weight - there’s a billion dollar industry that will help you loose whatever weight in money you have in your pocket. Perhaps, it is to exercise more - again there are more exercise machines for sell than there are people. How about being kinder and more generous - don’t worry about this one, the government has taken care of it for you. Then there’s the always popular, to spend more time with family - there is a high probability that they don’t want to spend more time with you.

What are the other favorites? Quit smoking. Start Smoking. Quit drinking. Drink more. Spend less on losing weight and exercising. The list can go on and on - forever.

Why not take my approach? I resolved years ago to make no resolutions.

It’s the only resolution that I have no problem keeping.

Happy New Year.

PMO
©2011

Guns Required

Not everyone agrees with me about guns. That’s okay. You can be wrong if you want to. I see a gun as a tool and a form of recreation. It’s fun to shoot. I don’t shoot furry little animals or birdies.

There is, has been, and always will be arguments for and against citizens having guns. But, little Kennesaw, Georgia passed a law in 1982 requiring all heads of households to own a gun and ammunition. They still have the distinction of being the only place in the U.S. that requires guns. According to a Reuters news report, April 18, 2007, resident Robert Jones says, "People in Europe feel they need to be protected by government. People in the U.S. feel they need to be protected from the government. He owns a .357 caliber Magnum. I must admit that I can agree with his statement, but I disagree with his choice of guns. A trusty .45 caliber is hard to beat and it isn’t as loud as a .357.

I do need to mention that the law in Kennesaw exempts those with criminal records, mental issues and those that can’t afford a gun. I would be inclined to set up an easy payment plan for those that can’t afford one.

Only about 50% of the residents have guns according to the police department there. The law isn’t strictly enforced. But at least it keeps half the town wondering about the other half.

Kennesaw attracts tourists because of their unique law. You can even get a tee shirt with a picture of two guns and a statement, "It’s The Law." And, the town has grown from 5,000 in 1982 to about 30,000 now.

Now, I’ve told you all that to tell you all this. I am wondering if we could get such a law passed in my little burg. It’s not that I want people that should not have guns to have one, but we could use the tourist revenue. My burg needs economic development. If for nothing else, to fix the streets.

We don’t get a lot of tourists at the gas station. It’s our only attraction.

PMO
©2011

Voter ID

I know this is a stupid question, but, "What is the big deal about requiring a photo ID to vote?" This appears to be a major issue according to Fox News.com. It seems that the Democrats oppose the idea because it is not fair to minorities and the poor. But, in Rhode Island, photo Ids were approved by Democrats and a Democratic Legislature. Don’t they have any minorities or poor in Rhode Island?

It would appear that even those opposing the idea can’t agree. The problem may be that states that have had the requirement for years, find voter participation increases - including minorities.

Republicans counter the argument with the facts that it is just a matter of common sense. I don’t think you can use "common sense" as an argument anymore because very few people seen to have any.

If you have to have a photo ID to sign up for welfare, get on an airplane, buy tobacco or alcoholic beverages, or even use a credit card, then what is the issue with showing one to vote? Is it possible to live in this world today without a photo ID?

I have said all that to say this, "If there ever was any doubt about the sanity of our politicians, then this ought to remove that doubt."

I have to have an ID to get into my house. My financial controller says I don’t look like the dark haired young man she married. She often checks my birth certificate and finger prints.

Whatever the outcome of the voter ID photo issue, when it comes time to vote, remember to vote and vote often.

PMO
©2011

Don't Leave Home

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration says that the highest number of auto accidents occur at speeds between 35-40 miles per hour. Further more, their 2009 data reveals that these accidents occur between 3:00 pm and 9:00 pm. For years, it has been widely circulated that most auto accidents occur less than 25 miles from your home.
These statistics explain a lot about driving in metropolitan areas. While most drivers, unaware of the numbers, chug along trying to get through traffic, there are those that must have a phobia of the facts. You see them driving 90 miles per hour, weaving in and out of traffic and looking at their watch.

Now I know why these people behave as they do. They are staying above the accident speed range and trying to get 25 miles away from home, especially during critical driving time.

As for me, I am getting a bumper sticker like the one I saw this week. It simply states, "Retired - Go Around Me."

PMO
©2011

Why Blog?

It has been said that everyone has at least one book in them. That may be true, but the trick is to get the book out of the person and onto the page. Actually, I’m glad everyone doesn’t write a book. I don’t have time to read seven billion books. And, if it is best to write about what you know, then all those books would be about a lot of people that I don’t know.

That brings up my next question, why would anybody want to write a daily blog? There must be some deep dark psychological reason people blog. Perhaps it is to vent about something or maybe it’s a simple as wanting to share undisputed truth and wisdom. Neither of those apply here.

When I started writing, I had only one goal in mind. I forgot what it was. So I came up with another goal, but then got sidetracked on that one. So as you see today, I try to give you insight into grumpy old men.

It is my hope that when you read all my junk, that you will laugh a lot, think a lot and sometime just wonder, "what is he talking about?"

I really do a good job on making people wonder what I’m talking about.

PMO
©2011

Police Advertising

According to an AP story in the daily dribble, Syracuse, New York is entertaining the idea of selling advertsing on the police cars.  As is pointed out in the story, police have suffered donut jokes for years, but what will happen if they start driving mobile billboards?

I realize that the economy is bad, but can this really be the answer?  We already have municipal stadiums with "naming rights."  In "Big D" and other cities, the city owned transit system is plastered with ads on buses and trains.  Where are we headed?  Is the next step ads on city limit signs?  I can see it now, "Welcome to Cleveland - brought to you by Charmin."

What kind of person reads ads on city vehicles?  My best guess is someone that is "really" bored.

Okay, if we must, let's put banners or bumper stickers on police cars.  But, if we are going to do it, let's get some attention.

I can visualize it.  A Syracuse police cruiser with Viagra plastered across the hood and back.

That would put a whole new meaning to "Protect and Serve."

PMO
©2011

Patient Father

It’s interesting who you meet along life’s journey. I know a father that has a bunch of kids. I’m not exactly sure how many, but a bunch is a lot. He is the most patient father I’ve ever seen.

He isn’t real strong on discipline, at least by my standards. His kids do anything they want. He tells them that if they don’t straighten up, he will punish them, but that doesn’t seem to slow them down. There are some that behave pretty good, sometime, but even they don’t always take his advice and guidance. I just don’t see how he does it. I’d be tempted to take a big stick and see if I could get their attention, but not him. And, he is not even trying to be politically correct by not wacking them. That’s just the way he feels.

He feels if he loves them enough, they will love him back. As far as I have seen, the only time they love him back is when they are in trouble or want something. He does help them when they get in over their heads, but I have to give it him, he doesn’t spoil them with gifts. He told me, one time he gave them the most precious gift he had, but most of them still ignore him.

Kids!  What are you going to do with them? His ways seem very strange to me, but I am strange. His patience never runs out. Surely one of these days he’ll finally get fed up and let go on all of them. I’d guess they will all try to run off and hide under a mountain when he does. Something tells me that when his patience runs out, everybody better run.

PMO
©2011

Christmas Is About?

What is Christmas all about? Presents - lots of presents. Football - enough football to last a lifetime. Then there’s food. Lots, lots, lots, and lots of food. A day off from work. Family gatherings where you get to spend the day opening presents, eating and watching football and complaining about having to go back to work.

Or it is about the following:

Luke Chapter 2

1
And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed.

2

And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.)

3

And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city.

4

And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:)

5

To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.

6

And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.

7

And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

8

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.

9

And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

10

And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

11

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

You decide what Christmas is all about for you.

©2011

Why The Media Hates Bush

I called my friend Larry today to wish him a Merry Christmas. As we often do, we talk about politics. He is in a political position and knows a bunch of elected representatives. He always has a lot of inside information that the 99.9% of the population never knows.

In our conversation, he brought up the "media." I don’t talk about the media much because there are few if any journalist in the media. I can say that because I used to be a reporter. The media today absolutely believes, "never let the truth ruin a good story."

Larry pointed out and I must say I agree, the reason the media hated President "W", was because he never took them on fancy vacations. They perceive themselves to be members of the elite. Therefore they like to be wined and dined in exotic places - a paid for vacation if you will. And, "W" went to Crawford, Texas for vacations. Do you know what there is to do in Crawford, Texas?

To make matters worse, "W" served ice tea. The boys and girls of the media expect to drink only the finest adult beverages. And, who ever heard of the elite eating barbeque. To add insult to injury, they didn’t have five star hotels with staffs scrambling to fill their every whim.

Now days, they fall over themselves to pump out what ever the current administration wants. Hey, they know on which side of their French toast is buttered. Hawaii for the "holidays" beats the heck out of Crawford, Texas.

So, let that be a lesson to anyone that may hold political office. If you want only your side of the story told, fix it where the media can be pampered.

Give me some pork ribs and a domestic beer. I don’t need them reporting about me.

PMO
©2011

Protests

Every year there are protests against Christmas displays. I suppose this has been going on since 1870 when Ulysses Grant signed into law some Federal holidays.

But this year is different. I have actually seen signs of push back against protests, like recently in Athens, Texas. Also, I have heard more people saying, "Merry Christmas" than I remember in a long time.

I would like to suggest to protesters that if you don’t like Christmas, then don’t participate. Don’t give or receive any presents. Don’t take off from work. Most employers can arrange for you to work. Of course, you get the same pay as you would if you take off and sit around watching football all day. Don’t eat all those Christmas goodies - like pecan pies. Mmmm.

Get your own holiday. March up to Congress and demand that you want a "non-holiday" holiday. Holiday means "Holy" day.

If you are successful and your holiday doesn’t really impose anything but good stuff on me, I’ll not complain about it.

Again, Ron White is right - "You just can’t fix stupid."

PMO
©2011

Ho Ho Ho

I went to the beauty saloon this week. You know, one of those uni-sex hair cutting places. I don’t know if I will ever adjust to not having barber shops.

The woman that cuts my hair has done so for a few years now. About every forth or fifth time she gets it close to the way I want it cut. The reason I keep going there is she does it better than anyone else I’ve found.

And, she has adjusted to me being me - somewhat. When she finished wacking on my hair this time, I paid her and gave her a nice tip for the holidays - much more than my usual one dollar tip. As I was walking to the door, she and just about everybody else shouted Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. No one was really surprised when I replied, "I can do one or the other but not both in this economy."

Ho Ho Ho

PMO
©2011

Positive Benefits of Getting Old

After extensive research and careful analysis, I have identified the positive benefits of getting old.

There’s the benefit of getting a senior citizen discount at some fast food places.

The other one is, your chances of getting kidnaped are almost zero.

That's about it.

PMO
©2011

Trillion Emails

Parade Magazine had an article this week about email service plagued by outages this year. In the article, Nathaniel Borenstein a pioneer in electronic mail said the sheer volume of email traffic was a major factor. According to the article, there approximately 107 trillion emails sent each year. Eighty nine percent are spam.

It seems to me that by now everyone would have a sufficient supply of Viagra and all the spam could stop. Guess not.

I think I got half of the 89%. I don’t buy anything, but I do give them the email address of people I don’t like.

PMO
©2011

Offended

I’m offended. I don’t know why, but I am. There has to be something that offends me. These days everyone is offended by something. It just seems to me that I have a "right" to be offended too.

Several years ago, I had a male employee that told me this story. He said that he was about to enter a store when he noticed a woman that was going to enter behind him. He politely opened the door to allow her to enter first. She stopped and said, "You don’t have to open the door for me because I am a lady." He replied, "I didn’t. I did it because I am a gentleman."

Since the non-religious, non-descriptive winter commercial break is approaching and I don’t want to offend anyone, the following paragraph is my perfect non-offensive statement for the season.

(Paragraph begins)

(Paragraph ends)

No doubt someone will be offended and call me a radical right wing racist homophobic terrorist.

PMO
©2011

Who Is They?

Who is "they?" "They" are always dictating that you have to do this or you can’t do that. "They" make the rules. Sometimes it is "they" that did something - good or bad. "They" invent things and even go to the moon. "They" set the schedules. "They - they -they"

All I want is to identify "they." I want names, addresses, emails and phone numbers. Did "they" make a rule that "they" are to remain antonymous?

In all my life I have heard "they" over and over - maybe a million times, literally. I forgot to count. If "they" are so all important, don’t we need to know who "they" are? I for one would like to ask them some questions. Like, what are your qualifications and you do adhere to all the junk you spew?

It looks like only Pogo knows. He did say, "we have seen the enemy and "they" is us."

So "they" must be the enemy. At least we know that much.

PMO
©2011

Confused?

Are you confused? If not, then try keeping up with all the candidates for President. All they have in common is the desire to expose what is or could be the other candidates faults. Silly me thinks that the focus of the primaries should be on what each candidate has to offer in managing the country. After all, that’s what the President’s job is. He is a manager.

We would be better off if we just drew up a job description and started interviews for the job. Let’s look at the questions for the interview process. Have you ever had a job? What experience do you have in running a country? Why on earth would you want this job?

There you go. That’s it.

I would like for you to know. I’ve had several jobs and I’m smart enough to know that I would not want this job.

If I’m elected, I promise not to do anything.

PMO
©2011

What's That Smell?

A few years ago my youngest granddaughter came into the kitchen and exclaimed, "What’s that smell?" "Sour kraut and sausage," was my reply. She didn’t stay to eat.

It is a good thing and a bad thing that foods don’t often taste like they smell. I truly wish that a hot dog tasted as good as it smells. Such is the case with popcorn and fresh coffee.

Then, there’s fish, lobster and shrimp. I’m glad they don’t taste like they smell.

With Christmas approaching, I’ve been thinking about how odors are memories. Every time I walk into an aroma of cookies baking or pumpkin pie, it just reminds me of other times. Like when I make chili. Everyone seems to be happier.

As it gets closer to Christmas, think about all those wonderful smells and close your eyes. It will make things seem a lot better.

Unless of course, you have sour kraut and sausage for Christmas.

PMO
©2011

Dentist

I think I have mentioned before, I am an observer by nature and training. That means I see a lot of stupid things. Of all the things in the world, that you have to do sooner or later, going to the dentist is just hard for me to accept.

If you think about it, you are granting someone you probably don’t permission to stick their hands and other objects into your mouth. Rationally, this just does not make sense but we humans do it all the time. It must be that dentist have a heck of a marketing plan.

I went to the dentist today. They stuck hands, sharp instruments, water sprays and a wet dry vacuum into my mouth and wondered why I gaged.

No human should have to suffer the indignity of anyone sticking things into one’s mouth. The only thing worse is sticking things into the other end. At least they put me to sleep to do that.

The dentist wants me to come back. 

I’m checking to be sure he doesn’t moonlight as a proctologist.

PMO
©2011

Backdoor

This is another life lesson that most young people and far too many old people never figure out. It’s simple - ‘always know where the backdoor is.’

A number of years ago, a traveling gospel music group found themselves in a tiny fundamental church in the hills of Arkansas. They performed their joyous music and everything was going just fine until the church preacher and deacons brought out a box of snakes. These were people that believed in snake handling as part of the services.

Shocked and afraid, one member of the gospel group turned to another and asked, "where is the backdoor?" The reply was, "there is no backdoor." The first person then asked, "reckon where do they want one?"

How many times have you gotten yourself into something that there was seemingly no way out? Humans don’t usually think of retreating in everyday life. But the truth is, there is no harm in looking for an escape before you need it. And, often it pays to find more than one way out before you start. Any good military officer always plans for retreat, just in case.

Backdoor’s are important. That’s why they put them on houses.

They don't put them on out houses. But, that’s one place you just can’t retreat from.

PMO
©2011

Political Correctness

It’s difficult to trace the origin of ‘political correctness.’ The first I heard about it was in the 80's. A journalist in California said, "it will destroy this country." Guess what? It is.

The strange about ‘PC’ is that if you want to do something or want to be something that you’re not, then just invent a politically correct term for it. It is especially helpful in getting something for nothing. Just make yourself a victim with PC and you’re in.

The only downside is that you have to sell out to politicians. I’ve always heard about selling your soul to the devil. But selling your soul to politicians?

The old adage of staying with the devil you know rather than going with one you don’t is really starting to make sense.

You know what the devil is. There is no telling what politicians are going to do to you.

PMO
©2011

My Experience

I often read the letters to the editor in our daily dribble. It amuses me. What I find fascinating is that people want to use their personal life experiences to make a case for or against an issue, like theirs is the defining proof.

Remember the old stories about walking to school? "When I was a boy I had to walk 40 miles to school in the snow and uphill both ways." And this would be an argument for what? Getting a ski lift or snowmobiles for all schools?

In our society, individual wants or dislikes have taken rule over the masses. We seem to be driven by what is good for ‘me’ is good for everyone.

It’s the same principle used to sell weight loss products. There is always one or two people that really did lose weight on any particular program or another, and therefore it will work for anybody. Hundreds and sometimes thousands of dollars later, hundreds and thousands of people figure out all they lost was money.

What, pray tell, happened to a society that didn’t bend to the wants and whims of a handful of people and often not that many. I can tell you my personal experience in working with the electricity industry that consumers pay additional for service because of one person. There is an organization in Texas that constantly lobbies the regulators to provide services that only add to the cost. And, this organization consists of one person.

While individuals have rights, they are not limited and they should not override millions of others.

That’s my soap box for the day.

I do think that because I really like steak and lobster that the government should provide me with said same. What do you think?

PMO
©2011

Then And Now

I ran across a website called Wise Old Sayings. It is an alphabetical listing of many of the sayings that we have all heard many times. Some of them are timeless but I suggest that some just don’t work anymore. The following are a few samples of sayings back then and why they don’t fit today.

A penny for your thoughts. People don’t even pickup pennies off the street. Why in the world would they want to be paid a penny for thoughts. I will admit they there are a lot of people that would be overpaid.

A rolling stone gathers no moss. You cannot have rolling stones. OSHA will not allow it. And the environmentalist will sue you for disturbing the moss.

A penny saved is a penny earned. We’re back to pennies. Half the people today don’t want to earn dollars, let alone pennies.

A picture is worth a thousand words. Not since Photo Shop.

A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do. Ain’t going to happen. There are so many rules against a man doing anything that is not politically correct.

A watched pot never boils. What pot? Everything is microwaved. Watching pots may have been fun, but microwaves are dark when the light burns out.

Politics make strange bedfellows. Today, there are so many strange bedfellows that politics doesn’t seem to have anything to do with it.

Confession is good for the soul. This may still be true. The problem is that everyone does it on Facebook or Twitter.

Be true to yourself. Today, there are too many people trying to find themselves so they don’t know who to be true to. I think they are looking in the wrong places.

PMO
©2011

Nightmares

Do you ever have nightmares? You know, those crazy scary dreams that wake you up and make you wonder what you dreamed.
I can only imagine what horrors pop up in other peoples nightmares. But I have come up with the worst possible nightmare. Just relax and think about peaceful, restful sleep. Then suddenly you find yourself on an airplane with Alec Baldwin, Charlie Sheen and Matt Damon. They discuss politics, career moves and the service on airplanes all the way through the flight.

That’s why I don’t fly anymore. I can’t take the chance of having that dream.

PMO
©2011

America Doesn't Work

Obama gave a speech in Osawatomie, Kansas on December 6, 2011. He spoke at the local high school. I don’t know how many people were there, but I do know what he said. You can read for yourself, the full transcript at this link:

http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2011/12/06/remarks-president-economy-osawatomie-kansas

I don’t usually talk about politicians in a public forum, but this is one of those exceptions. If there has ever been any doubt about Obama having a Socialist or Marxist agenda, he removes that doubt.

You will find that he has proclaimed that the American system of capitalism doesn’t work and never has. Limited government and the free market just isn’t going to get it done. He is going to fix it.

I listened to Congressman Pete Sessions today point out some frightening figures. When Obama took office, we had a $9 trillion deficit with a GDP (Gross Domestic Product) of about $14 trillion. Today we have a deficit approaching $22 trillion with the GDP remaining fairly constant.

I admit that I have never been good at math, but if you spend $22 trillion and you only take in $14 trillion, you will come up short sooner or later.

Grumpy old men are easily annoyed. They are not easily fooled or frightened.

Read the transcript and see if it frightens you. If it doesn’t. Read it again.

PMO

©2011

Elementary School

In case you haven’t heard the latest in our schools, here’s what’s going on in a couple. A North Carolina nine year old fourth grade student has been suspended from school for commenting to a friend that one of his teachers is cute.

As reported by WSOC - TV and NY Daily News, the student was overheard by a substitute teacher. She reported the incident to the principal who took action with a charge of "sexual harassment." The facts appear to be that the student did not speak to the teacher whom he admired nor the substitute. He only made a comment.

Meanwhile in the Boston Globe there is a story about a seven year old first grade student that was attacked on a school bus by a bully. The bully took his new gloves and was choking him so hard he could not breathe. The seven year old kicked the bully in the groin. Another case of sexual harassment. He was suspended and the bully was treated as the victim.

I would like to say to the administrators of the schools, "have you lost your minds?" What boy hasn’t had a crush on a teacher and what boy won’t defend himself with whatever force necessary? If this is typical of the schools in this country, then we may as well turn off the lights. The party’s over.

We didn’t have any cute teachers when I went to school. They had to pass an ugly test before they were hired.

PMO
©2011

Typical Day

Have you ever wondered what grumpy old men do all day? I would hope not! Surely you have more important things to wonder about. If you do wonder about this, then you will make a great grumpy old man or old woman someday.

Since, you don’t wonder, I’ll tell you. I get up early - very early. That comes from all those years of having to get up early to go to work. My breakfast always includes bacon because it is not good for you and I am determined to buck the food Nazi’s.

I read part of the newspaper in the morning and the rest at night. My blood pressure won’t allow me to read it all at one time. I read the comics first because I know that after that, nothing else is going to make any sense at all.

Next comes a fun filled action packed day with doing whatever it is that someone else wants me to do. Whatever happened to, "when you retire you can do whatever you want to?" I don’t even remember what it was I wanted to do when I retired.

There are literally a million things I could be doing, but I don’t want to. These things include a lot of housework and minor repairs. My attitude is that if I wait long enough, the repairs will become major and I will hire someone to do them. And, there’s always the chance that they will just go away.

With email, news sites and just browsing, I can spend hours on the computer. There’s usually a laugh or two on the news sites. There is my never ending battle with the phone company. Actually that could be classified as a full time job. I have 17 pages of documentation and four letters to the CEO about the problems I have with them in the past two years. I’m not sure how many employees the phone company has, about a million I think, but I am on a first name basis with most of them.

Of course sometime during the day, I have to take a nap. It took me awhile to learn to do this. All my friends take a nap so I have to. It’s in the fine print for being retired.

Between shopping, mopping and going all the way out to the mail box, my days are pretty busy. In fact, I have to maintain a calendar to see what I am doing next. There’s the monthly coffee with my friend from work and the retiree club.

As you can see, it is necessary to pace yourself in retirement. Evenings are spent watching a TV program while my financial controller sleeps on the couch.

I go to bed early. I have to get up early. I just wish I knew why.

PMO
©2011

Pony Express

The United States Postal Service, a.k.a. "post office" is going to take a step backward and increase the time it takes to deliver first class mail. And, they are going to raise the cost to mail a letter. Wow! That sounds like a heck of a deal.

Back in 1860, William Russell, William Waddell and Alexander Majors founded the Pony Express. It took ten days for a letter to travel from St. Joseph, Missouri to Sacramento, California - about 2000 miles -and initially cost $5. That’s about $100 in today’s money. Before you ask, I was not alive then. Had I been alive it would not have bothered me because I don’t know anyone in California I would want to write to then or now.

The Pony Express had over 100 stations along the route, 80 riders and between 400 and 500 horses. The riders were young men or actually boys that had to be tough as nails. They rode 75 miles per day and sometimes more - a lot more.

They lost only one mail pouch, but it did show up two years latter.

Guess what? The Pony Express went out of business after only 19 months - October 24, 1861. Why? The transcontinental telegraph ended its need for existence. For those that don’t know what a telegraph is, it was the forerunner of the internet. I think it went away because you didn’t get Google.

I am oldish. I like the postal service. I look forward to seeing what came in the mail, except for the bills. It won’t be next year, but unless it becomes privatized, it will go the way of the Pony Express and the telegraph.

I think we ought to try the Pony Express again. It was a great idea. All it needs is a few tweaks and we could be running again. But, then I like horses.

People often refer to me as part of a horse.

PMO
©2011

GQ

GQ, formerly Gentlemen’s Quarterly, has officially announced the 25 least influential people alive. The number one honor went to Tim Paulenty. I really can’t argue that one. They may have committed a Cardinal sin when Hank Williams Jr showed up at number six. Arnold Schwarzenegger came in at fourteen with John Boehner listed at twenty four.

It is interesting that President Obama made number 25 on the list. The author, Drew Magary, said, "he wields all the power of a substitute teacher at night school."

Fortunately, GQ has to be the number ONE least influential magazine. If you aren’t familiar with it, it is the male version of Vogue.

I have seen both Vogue and GQ maybe once in my extended life time. The pictures are better in Vogue.

And, everybody that is anybody will tell you that I am the least influential person alive.

PMO
©2011

It's A Mad Mad World

In case you missed it - it’s been on some talk shows- the UK Daily Mail reported a couple of days ago that allowing women to drive in Saudi Arabia will result in no virgins and the onset of homosexuality. The headline read, "Saudis Fear There will be ‘No More Virgins’ and People will Turn Homosexual if Female Drive Ban is Lifted."

All of this is attributed to a government study on lifting the driving ban for women. I am not going to go into the details. Just look it up if you want to know more. If it’s a government study, it has to be true. I wish I was smart enough to work for the government - any government.

I don’t know about you, but this kind of report gives me great comfort. It’s nice to know that the rest of the world is as crazy as we are.

I used to say that if they would stop the world, I'd get off.  Now, I think if they would just slow it down a little, I'll jump.

PMO
©2011

City And Country

I’m not sure if the burg where I live is suburban or rural. It is within the metro-mess of DFW, but we have large lots - one to five acres. I don’t guess it really matters, but I want to point out that often rural areas are not different from cities.

In rush hour traffic in the city, it is not unusual for a ten mile trip to take an hour or more. This of course is four to six lanes wide with about a trillion cars.

In the "real country" the roads are mostly two lanes without any passing zones. A ten mile trip can take an hour or more. All it takes is one tractor and one pickup in front of you.

I still think that if God had intended for us to have cars, we would have been born with a parking space.

PMO
©2011

Why Me?

I drove my financial controller to a day clinic today for a medical procedure that was to take a couple of hours. We arrived about ten minutes early to the appointed time. Check in was simple enough and the lady at the window was nice. We took seats in the waiting area. The wait was an hour. That’s the good part.

After a nurse came to take her away for the procedure, I decided to walk around outside. The nurse had told me the procedure would take about 45 minutes. That was within the allotted expected time. It was a nice day until.

First a young man and woman, carrying a large trash bag came up to me and wanted to know if I had any grand-babies. I said no, since my grandchildren are no longer babies. I will never know what was in that bag.

I walked down to a nearby office supply store to browse the time away. A clerk asked if I was shopping for something in particular. I told him that I would like to see one of the new e-readers. They didn’t have any in stock and had sold the display.

Back outside, in front of the clinic I encountered another man, also waiting. He said he had been there even longer than I had. With great detail he explained to me what tests his wife was having. Then he explained that he had also had the procedures a few months ago and everything was fine. They even removed his hemorrhoids while he was sedated. I need to know all this - why?

Back inside, settled into a chair, I noticed a man and woman that came in and did the check-in process. The woman took a chair and promptly began devouring a large sandwich. You cannot imagine the outrage this caused. This clinic is one of those places where you have to fast before the procedure. One woman began to complain loudly that there was a sign on the door forbidding food or drink in the clinic. A man got up and challenged the man - who also had to be fasting - about why the woman had food in front of all the "starving" people.

If this wasn’t enough entertainment, another woman, who had a large bottle of root beer, sat and picked her nose while she watched the TV set mounted on the wall.

The man that was enraged about the woman that brought the food went to talk to the equally upset woman that had complained loudly. On his way back to his seat, he stopped in front of me and said somebody’s name. I looked at him. He said I looked like the person he named. I assured him that I was not that person and he replied, "I know, he’s dead."

The actual procedure that was to take 45 minutes took over two hours. When they finally called me in to fetch my wife, I was beginning to dread going back into that waiting room.

Luckily, we exited through a side door.

I went back and checked the door to see if there really was a sign forbidding food and drink. There was. There also was a sign forbidding firearms.

I know why.

PMO
©2011

Charlie Brown Christmas

I read an article today that reminded me that back in 2010, the old days, ABC picked up the Charlie Brown Christmas Special. It is locked in through 2015. This is somewhat amazing in today’s society since the presentation contains a passage from the Gospel of Luke - King James Version - of the Bible.

Charlie Brown asks the question, "what is Christmas all about?" Linus quoted the verses from Luke’s account of the birth of Jesus. Then he said, "that’s it Charlie Brown, that’s what Christmas is all about."

I have been a Peanuts fan for many years. I remember when the Christmas Special came out in 1965. It was a low budget production even back then. Yet, it has been around every year since then. How could this simple little cartoon last so long?

The answer is simple. Linus said it best. He told the story of the birth of the Christ. That’s it.

People still like to hear that story.

Some TV executive recognized that and made a smart move. That’s once in a row.

©2011

A Nice Smile

I read today on Newsmax.com that a presidential candidate must have a nice smile to win. The article stated that communications consultant Jon Kraushar maintains that history shows winners are those whose smile conveys a positive message.

Kraushar cited research by UCLA Professor Albert Mehrabian indicating that non-verbal communication can be more important than what is actually said. One of the examples given was Ronald Regan’s smile and sparkling eyes.

This should be no surprise, because most Americans only see and/or hear a candidate on a television commercial. They don’t know the issues, but that man or woman has a nice smile. It’s all a part of body language.

I have been to a horse racing track twice in my lifetime. Both times it was connected to a work activity. Without realizing it, I used the smile theory to pick my two $2 bets - one at each visit. Other people had no more idea than I did about picking a horse. When they asked me, "how do you know which one to pick?" I replied, "just pick one with a nice smile." I lost four dollars.

So much for that idea.

PMO
©2011

Flash Rob

Flash mobs are usually sudden performances in public places. They are often coordinated via telecommunication, email or social media. The participants assemble, deliver their message and then disperse. I have seen several of them on YouTube and I’d guess you have too.

Now the trend is flash rob. That’s where a group of people descend upon a store and rob it while employees are helpless to deal with such a mob. Not long ago, a group of about 70 young people entered a 7 Eleven store in Silver Spring, Maryland and took merchandise while the clerk could do nothing but watch.

I was just wondering what would happen if a large group of seniors decided to pull off a flash rob. Naturally it would take a lot of planning. I mean, you have to consider some with walkers, wheel chairs, canes and all that. But, let’s say you could round up a hundred or so. Instead of tweets or text messages, after everyone got into the store, somebody could blow a whistle.

Can you imagine the dash to grab denture creams, body lotions, hemorrhoidal ointments, various pain relief rubs, hair dyes (especially the ones that make your hair blue) bunion pads, heating pads, adult diapers, cleansing wipes, those little rubber things that go on the end of a cane, band aids, prunes and anything with fiber, and finally all the beer and cigarettes they could carry off?

I’m not suggesting that anyone do this. I would not participate if invited - well, maybe. But I am saying that it would have to make the best video on YouTube.

I’ll be watching.

PMO
©2011

Thank You For The Call

I have noticed when I call some of my old friends they always end the conversation with, "thank you for the call." Truth is, my "old" friends that I’ve had for years, have gotten old. They don’t get a lot of phone calls I suppose.

People don’t call people much anymore. They just send an email joke or a text message or they do nothing to keep in touch. As evidenced by the decline in letters delivered by the Post Office, communication has changed. No one seems to have time to talk.

There was a time when "folks" sat on the porch and talked. It took time, but the end result was that all parties seemed to be a little happier and felt they had not wasted time.

Humans are social animals. They have an internal need to interact with others. But, the evolution of time constraints has slowly but surely changed all that. Young people think a ‘tweet’ is enough. Sure it takes only seconds to read one, not only because of the number of character limits, but what they have to say doesn’t often justify anymore time. Is this communication? Yes. Is it conversation? No.

I try to keep in touch with my friends by phone as often as I can. After the invention of caller ID, I discovered they often are not at home when I call.  Maybe they are busy tweeting or texting.

Maybe I should adopt the courtesy of saying, "thank you for your call." Problem is the only calls I get are from politicians and someone trying to sell me something.

It just doesn’t seem right to yell at them and tell them not to call me again, and end with "thank you for your call."

PMO
©2011

I Can't Believe

I have often commented, "I can’t believe that someone would be that stupid?" Well, I give up, I surrender, I can believe people will and do almost anything stupid. 
There are thousands or maybe millions of examples of things that people do that make you think, how stupid is that? The thousands or millions don’t include things politicians do - or the people that vote them into office.

Over the years, I have done a few stupid things. There are those that think everything I do is stupid. Stupid is defined by Webster as "given to unintelligent decisions or acts."

I remember a story about a fellow that lost a wheel from his vehicle in front of a mental institution. The lug nuts had come off and therefore the wheel fell off. He was at his wits end on what to do, when a resident looking through the fence offered, "take one lug nut off each of the three remaining wheels and put the wheel back on your vehicle." The man exclaimed, "that’s a great idea! I can’t believe you are locked away when you have such reasoning." The resident replied, "I am in here for being crazy, not stupid."

Why do people do stupid things? If you find out the answer, you will become a wealthy person, either by taking advantage of others or by selling a cure all.

Don’t try the cure on me. It won’t work.

Sometimes I do stupid things just to see what happens. At other times, I do stupid things so I can fit in.

PMO
©2011

Another Dog Event

Once again the grumpy old man ingenuity has prevailed. I had to keep the dogs again this week. The inside dog stayed with me, inside and the outside dog stayed at home.

I went over to check on the outside dog - give him food and water. There was a problem. There was no dog food - which I had also planned to bring some back for the inside dog. I phoned my daughter and asked if there was any dog food. She said she had bought some, but it was in her car. She would not be home until late in the day.

Let me explain. I pamper dogs. It seemed to me that they might be hungry before she got home. However, I did not want to go and buy a bag of food, since she already had. Oh, what to do?

Since it was near my lunch time, I had an idea. I drove to a fast food place and got myself a chili cheese dog with mustard and onions.

The dogs did not get the mustard and onions on theirs.

Problem solved.

PMO
©2011

Thanksgiving

Why do we celebrate a day called Thanksgiving? The answer is quite simple. It is a day to give thanks unto God. At least that is the way it started back in 1619 at Berkeley Plantation in Virginia.

Just like other Christian celebrations, Thanksgiving has evolved into a day to eat and watch football. America has forgotten God and we wonder why God seems to have forgotten about us.

I am not a religious fanatic, but I have often wondered what would happen if the nation truly stopped for a day and gave thanks - with no television.

"America has much for which to be thankful. The unequaled freedom enjoyed by our citizens has provided a harvest of plenty to this Nation throughout its history. In keeping with America's heritage, one day each year is set aside for giving thanks to God for all of His blessings. As we celebrate Thanksgiving, we should reflect on the full meaning of this day as we enjoy the fellowship that is so much a part of the holiday festivities. Searching our hearts, we should ask what we can do as individuals to demonstrate our gratitude to God for all He has done. Such reflection can only add to the significance of this precious day of remembrance. Let us recommit ourselves to that devotion to God and family that has played such an important role in making this a great Nation, and which will be needed as a source of strength if we are to remain a great people." Ronald Wilson Reagan
PMO
©2011

Catholic Problem

According to LifeNews.com, former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is upset. The nation’s Catholic bishops are protesting a potential Obama administration decision forcing insurance companies to cover birth control, contraception and drugs that could cause abortions.

Pelosi is quoted as saying about Catholics, "they have this conscience thing." This is the same person that said about the Obama health care bill, "we have to pass this bill so we can see what’s in it."

What can you say? You nasty Catholics need to get rid of your conscience.

I wonder what she says about the Baptist?  They probably couldn’t print that.

PMO
©2011

Water Does Not Reduce Dehydration

In case you missed it on Fox News, the European Union has proclaimed that water does not help prevent dehydration. In the UK a law goes into effect next month that prevents bottle water companies from stating on the labels that water can reduce the risk of dehydration.

From one that has experienced a lack of water, I say to the "scientist" that came up with this, just try to go without water for a few hours while working outside in high temperatures and humidity. It takes a lot of water to get over it.

Dehydration is by definition, a loss of water. Another way to say it is, absence of water is dehydration.

If water doesn’t reduce dehydration, then heat doesn’t prevent freezing. Just so you’ll know, there is no such thing as cold, only the absence of heat.

How about this? Light does not reduce dark. Again, there is no such thing as dark, only the absence of light.

Conclusion: science can make up anything they want to. The question is, do you believe it?

If you do, then don’t drink water. Remember, all drinks have water. If they didn’t, they would be dehydrated.

PMO
©2011

I Have A Problem

I have a problem. I think logically. Try as I will, I can’t control it. If there is professional help in this area, I don’t know about it. Perhaps I will contact Dr. Phil and see if I can appear on his show and get his help. Let me explain.

My daughter called today and talked to my financial controller. She explained to her that she and the family were going out of town. Should it start to rain, we should go to their house and get the dog that normally stays inside but would be outside. Or, she offered to bring the dog by to us, to which my controller said "No."

Here is where my problem comes into play. I asked why she didn’t want them to bring the dog by. It seems that would be the best solution. The other option is to wait until it’s pouring rain, then we have to go and get out into the rain to get a muddy wet dog and put him in the car. Her reply, "I don’t want to put up with him right now."

The plot thickens. Daughter, now on the road for an hour or two calls and says the dog is inside the house in his kennel. He refused to come out so they left him there. Danger: logical thinking overcomes me again. There are four people in that house, all of them bigger than a seven pound dog. Any one of them or surely all of them together could have taken that dog out of the kennel and put him in the back yard.

Are you ready for this part? My financial controller goes to get the dog. However there is another problem. The code for the garage opener won’t work. It didn’t work earlier in the week when I was there and asked my daughter for a battery to replace the one that was obviously run down. She said she had one and would replace it in a few minutes.

The wife has to go to a store and buy a battery. She replaced the battery and got into the house. Said dog is in the kennel. I don’t know how much of a fight he put up but she did return with him, and neither showed any signs of a struggle.

If you can offer me any help with my problem, I would appreciate it.

It didn’t rain.

PMO
©2011

Break A Leg

It’s been awhile since I’ve been to see a school play - last year to be exact. Every year since my daughter was old enough to be in a play, I have sat through uncomfortable chairs, forgotten lines, bad sound, poor lighting, questionable directing and worn out recorded music.

With the granddaughters it has been no different. Just like their mother, they are the stars of the performance - at least from where I sit. That was the case today too.

Having a little background in public performance, I have always been intrigued by the term, "break a leg." Yes, I know it means to perform so well you get to take a bow. It just sounds strange. I mean, to do good you get something bad - a broken leg? That makes me think that if you really do good, you get something really bad.

I told my granddaughter, "put an eye out." She looked at me strangely. She always looks at me strangely.

So does everyone else.

PMO
©2011

Since You Were Born

Would you rather be the king of England in the 1500s or the poorest person in America today? Have you ever stopped and thought about all the things that have been invented or discovered since you were born?

It’s no wonder why young people look at older folks in wonder when they tell tales about the good old days. They have no point of reference. Young people think that all the ‘stuff’ that’s around today has always been around - like indoor plumbing and Wi-Fi.

Not to reveal my age, but I do remember people that did not have indoor plumbing. I remember when we had electricity that worked sometimes. That’s why we had a battery operated radio - entertainment in its purest form.

Allow me to name a few of the ‘wonders’ that have come along since I discovered America: Television, ball point pens, microwave ovens, computers, clothes dryers, fluorescent lights, WD-40 and duct tape. None of these were here when I got here.

Just think of all the improvements over the years, like crew-cab pickups and electric toothbrushes. And, medical advances alone are absolutely mind boggling.

Now think about someone that was born just ten years ago. They grow up thinking the internet and HD TV were always around, like it came over with Columbus.

I am person that does not especially like change, but am in amazement of all the good changes that have occurred in my life time.

However, I still don’t ‘tweet’ and I never will.

PMO
©2011

Might Be

I am a Jeff Foxworthy fan - especially the ‘might be a redneck’ part of his act. So today, I thought I would try my hand at writing a few that I have not heard.

If you have two mailboxes and one is mounted on a pole ten feet in the air and it is marked ‘air mail’ and you check it for mail everyday, you might be a redneck.

If you have ever used Preparation H on your face as a wrinkle remover, you might be a redneck.

If your church takes a smoke break between the singing and the preaching, you might be a redneck.

If you miss your daughter’s wedding because the fish were biting, you might be a redneck.

If you trade your pickup for a boat and it’s twenty miles to the lake, you might be a redneck.

If the only pictures you have on Facebook are of your hunting dogs, you might be a redneck.

If you see nothing strange about all these, you might be a redneck.

PMO
©2011

Atheists?

According to CNSNews.com, atheists and humanists serving in the U.S. military want their own chaplains. Let that soak in for a moment. Reportedly there is an organized push for official recognition of chaplains for those that don’t believe in life after death. Former Army Captain, Jason Torpy, president of the Military Association of Atheists and Freethinkers, says there may be as many as 40,000 troops that should have the support system.

When I was in the Army - not the Continental Army either - I never met any atheists. I did know some that had ‘no preference’ on their dog tags. When asked about that, the reply I always got was something like, "if the time comes, I just don’t want to waste time looking for somebody to come."

Until the 1970s military service academies required cadets to attend chapel services. There is or at least was a religious history to the U.S. military.

And, the American Atheists have announced they will again place "You Know it’s a Myth" billboards in New Jersey. This year they report there also will be signs in Ohio and Florida.

Okay! These people want to proclaim that God does not exist. The age old question is, "how can you deny existence without provoking thought that it must be true."

The American Atheists have been around since 1963. God was here first. So far as the military goes, it has often been said, "there are no atheists in a fox-hole."

I suppose that when they die they’ll just end up in a compost pile. Doesn’t sound like much fun to me.

How can any human think the way of atheists? Maybe it’s their diet.

PMO
©2011

Old People Organization

I have lunch with a group of old people once per month. I mean older than me - at least most of them are. We just eat, take up space in the restaurant, and solve the problems of the world. After two years of these gatherings, I have concluded they are grumpier than I am - well maybe not.

It is obvious to me that people are upset with everything the government does or does not do. Actually, they are more than upset.

So, I have decided to organize all the old people in the country. There are already hundreds if not thousands of organizations for seniors. The problem with them is that each one has focused on one or two objectives. My organization will focus on everything - all at the same time. Whatever a person’s interest or concern may be, we’ll include it.

I have already carefully selected the name for the movement - er, organization. You have to be careful using the word ‘movement’ around old people. It is a name that will encompass the sentiments of how old people truly feel.

POOP

That’s right - POOP. It stands for Pissed Off Old People. Our moto for all politicians is, "If you don’t do what we want you to, we’ll poop on you - at the polls."

Tell all your old friends and get them to sign up. All they have to do is hit the comment button.

Want to buy a bumper sticker?

PMO
©2011

Super Powers

Look! Up in the air! It’s a bird. It’s a plane. It’s SUPERMAN! What boy or girl for that matter hasn’t day dreamed about having super powers. Faster than a speeding bullet. You could get the lawn done in a few seconds.

If you could choose any super power, what would you choose. It doesn’t have to be the ones we’ve seen in the comics or on TV or at the movies. I was asked that question by a screener for participation in a national survey. She was quite surprised with my answer.

I don’t want to be invisible, although it does have advantages, like when someone wants you to do something. Nor would I particularly want to bend steel with my bare hands. Being able to fly through the air like a bird would only be nice during rush hour. Even then you would have to deal with bugs on your goggles and between your teeth. I hate spiders so I wouldn’t be impressed with "Spiddy’s" powers. Don’t want to have Wonder Woman’s qualities, because for one thing, I would look silly in that outfit.

Have you thought what your super powers would be? I surprised the screener with this answer. If I could have one super power, it would be the ability to look inside other humans and see their true character.

I wonder what I would see?

PMO
©2011

Thanksgiving Turkey Tip

Have you always wanted to cook a turkey that looked like the ones they show in a magazine? Well, you can. And, you can save energy too.

A number of years ago a lady at our church gave us a recipe for cooking a turkey. It sounds crazy but it works. I like crazy things that work since my life is crazy.

The trick is that you have to follow directions. This is especially difficult for me. First and foremost you must use a black or dark blue granite pan to cook the turkey. No other pan will work - period. The pan must be large enough to hold a 12-18 pound turkey with the lid closed snugly. I have actually used wire to hold the lid shut when a turkey was slightly large.

Obviously you need a turkey. The ideal size is about 14-16 pounds. It must be fresh or thawed completely. You should take out the plastic bag with the giblets and neck. If you don’t you will be sorry.

Next you will need two medium red apples, two medium white onions, and two stalks of celery, cut in half. Quarter the apples and the onions.

Place the onions, apples and celery inside the cavity of said turkey. Rub some butter on the bird - not too much or it will burn.

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees. Don’t ‘chicken’ out now. Put the turkey inside the pan and be sure that the lid sits down completely. Now, place the pan in the oven and leave it alone for an hour and a half. DO NOT open the oven. At the end of the time, turn off the oven. DO NOT open the oven door for at least 8 hours.

We always do this at night and leave the bird to cook til the next morning. If your oven has a good seal, you will need potholders to get the pan out even after several hours.

The result will be a perfectly browned bird with lots of juices for dressing, provided you followed directions and the oven door seal is good.

I have mentioned more than once that this blog is about whatever I think about at the time I write. Obviously I am thinking about Thanksgiving dinner. I think about that a lot.

If you try this and it fails, I have a chili recipe. It takes six hours and you can’t sleep while it cooks.

PMO
©2011

Remotes

At my abode, we have ten remote control devices for watching television. This includes movie player equipment. Why hasn’t someone universalized a remote that can operate all the TV brands, models, and auxiliary equipment? The short answer to that question will always be ‘money.’ Just think how much profit there is in remote controllers - especially if you lose one.

How much simpler life would be with only one remote. Surely if we can make cell phone that handle thousands or millions of applications, a remote should be a snap. NO!

I’ve had universal remotes. Some will control some devices, but those must be the ones I don’t have. I have remotes for TV boxes, cable boxes, recorder boxes, DVD players and plain old TVs.

I suppose it could be worse. Like in the old days when you had to get up and change the channel on the TV set.

Someone needs to make it their life’s work to invent a truly universal super duper remote. They could make millions.

I would also like mine to control clocks and raise the garage door.

PMO
©2011

Clocks

With the recent daylight savings time change, I had to go about the place and reset the clocks. I am the official time keeper here. In my humble abode, there are 16 time keeping devices. Now, some of them change to DST automatically, but about half of them don’t.

The problem is, I don’t really know what time it is. None of the clocks are in sync with the others. There is always a few seconds, even a minute  or two difference including computer and telephone clocks.

Before you tell me that I need one of those official super satellite clocks, I have two. They don’t always agree.

Someone said that if you have two clocks, you will never know what time it is. With 16, I don’t have a chance. Maybe that’s why the television shows don’t start or end when they are supposed to.

I should do what my financial controller does. She chooses the clock that has the time closest to what time she wants it to be.

She’s never late. I am always early.

PMO
©2011

Veterans Day

What should one say to a veteran on Veterans Day?
"Thank you."

Divided

Let’s see. The "choice" people are against the "pro-life" people. The liberals oppose the conservatives. Unions hate right to work folks. Voter ID required proponents are challenged by those that don’t want that. The poor are at war with the rich. All the minorities cry racist to everyone - including another minority. Democrats disdain Republicans. The North does not like the South. Anti-war activist spit at the hawks. Workers hate free riders. Entitlement recipients hate anyone that opposes giving to them. Non-smokers hate smokers. The Federal Government resents State Governments. Citizens are against government at all levels. Environmentalist hate the drill baby drill supporters. Sports fans detest the other team. Religions argue with one another. Gays and straights battle. Women hate men.

What is America to do? Everybody is against everybody. The only common bond we seem to have is that everyone hates lawyers.

It was them that got us all into this mess. Wasn’t it?

PMO
©2011

Vote By iPad

The people in Oregon have been voting by mail for years. It all began with trials in some local elections back in 1981. Now, they want to vote by iPad. According to the Associated Press, election workers are spreading out in five counties to nursing homes, community centers and anywhere else there may be people that don’t or can’t vote by mail.

According to the story, the election workers ‘help’ the voter use the iPad to cast a ballot, it is printed on a portable printer, signed by the voter and the worker drops it in the mail.

Sound like a great idea? I don’t think so. Before you get your panties all in a wad, let me say clearly that I believe every citizen of sound mind - if there are any left - could and should vote. I am lead to believe that every state makes provisions to allow for everyone to vote.

The problem I have is the obvious. If the workers ‘help’ a voter to vote, is there a reasonable opportunity for that worker to influence or even cast the ballot for a ‘preferred’ candidate? Oh silly me. Surely there are no unethical workers.

Yes, there are ‘safeguards’ such as the voter must be registered and sign the ballot envelope. That signature is to be compared with the one on file at the registration office. Don’t know about you, but I’m not qualified to compare signatures. Oregon must be full of qualified people though.

In the daily drivel on the op-ed page, William Galston, a senior fellow at the Brookings Institution, advocates requiring all citizens to vote. Obviously we are hoping that means those of ‘sound mind.’ I still don’t how many would qualify, if any.

Voting is still one of the few rights we have left. I believe that to exercise that right, one should be required to complete an exam that proves he or she understands some basics about the issues or candidates. While this will never happen, it certainly would change the course of government at all levels.

As for voting by mail or by iPad, what happens if the postal union goes on strike or the batteries go dead in the iPad?

Also, who pays the postage? We all know the answer to that. Isn’t that another tax?

PMO
©2011

Lookout Seniors

According to an Associated Press story today, the wealth gap between young and old is the widest ever. The story by Hope Yen states that a household headed by someone age 65 or older has a net worth 47 times greater than a household headed by someone under age 35.

The story includes a comment from Henry Holzer, a labor economist and public policy professor at Georgetown University. He said, "It makes us wonder whether the extraordinary amount of resources we spend on retirees and their health care should be at least partially reallocated to those who are hurting worse than them" - speaking of the wealth gap between young and old.

The story goes on to describe how the horrible seniors have saved and invested and paid off as much debt as they can. Many are still working because they can’t afford to retiree.

If you are genuinely interested in the story, it is on-line and in most of the major papers. I just thought you should know about this effort by the media to establish another battlefront in class warfare.

What’s next in the ‘occupy’ movement - nursing homes, senior centers or hospitals specializing in geriatric care?

If this sounds like insanity, it is because it is insanity.

Warning to ‘occupiers’ - a young man will fight you, but an old man will just kill you.

PMO
©2011

DST

We are back on God’s time and not daylight savings time. I have never been a fan of daylight time and am lead to believe that this may be one of those rare cases where I am in the majority. Daylight savings time does not save daylight nor energy. It does create an opportunity for more retail sales. Follow the money. Always follow the money.

Daylight time is very much like cutting a foot off one end of a blanket and sewing it on the opposite end to make the blanket longer.

Hawaii and most of Arizona do not observe daylight savings time. They have all the daylight they want.

Aside from all the reasonable and rational arguments to DST, I, being an animal lover, have always wondered about roosters. Roosters have a job, crow at daylight to let everyone know it’s daylight. They are natures alarm clock. But in all the years and all the studies into the effects of DST I have yet to see any research into the psychological impact on roosters.

Does no one care about how roosters feel when they, which have no clocks, begin to announce daylight and realize that everyone is already up.

We have a neighbor that had a rooster. Every morning at sunrise, he would crow. But as time progressed he stopped.

I don’t know if he went into therapy or just died of a broken heart.

PMO
©2011

Skin A Cat

With all the groups opposing government there are many paths and methods developed to attain whatever the goal is for each one. Tea party folks want fiscal responsibility, and the flea party wants government to give them more free stuff. Each one has chosen an action to get what they want. Since these are only two examples, and there are thousands of others, the ways to get the goals all contain variables.

When it comes to reforming government, I am reminded of an old adage, "there is more than one way to skin a cat."

The truth is, there is no way that the cat will like.

PMO
©2011

Where Have All The Average People Gone?

Several years ago, Roger Miller recorded a song titled "Where Have All The Average People Gone?" Apparently no one has come up with an answer to the question. At least no one has released the answer in a country song.

The lyrics observed that rich people thought the singer was poor, but the poor people thought he was rich. Some called him a sinner while others thought he was a preacher. The government thought of him as a number, but his wife viewed him as life and breath. But by his own statement, he was just trying to get along.

Average people used to work to provide for families, go to church on Sunday, do their best to help family, friends and neighbors, and make life a little better for all those they encountered. They had problems and trials, but they didn’t get on TV proclaiming they were victims or everyone else is to blame. Average people had dignity and modesty. And most had at least some morality.

The lyrics of that song included the line, "funny I don’t fit, where have all the average people gone?"

If you find them, please let me know.

PMO
©2011

TV Cost Too Much

I suppose a majority of people today have cable, satellite or some TV provider. Our house is connected through the phone line. We get phone, TV and internet all on one little wire. The problem is that the little wire seems to get a lot of kinks in it. And, the cost is ridiculous.

My "bundle" cost a bundle every month. I pay more for phone, TV and internet than I do for my electric service - I have an all electric house.

As I have heretofore testified I don’t watch much television. When the set is on, it is on a favorite local channel, 99% of the time. But, my financial controller insists that we subscribe to the over 200 channel package. My question of "why" have never been answered. When I point out that almost half of the 200 channels are just music stations, it is not a valid argument against paying so much. And, pointing out that we only watch one or at the most two channels, all I get is comments like, "well we have the other channels to watch if we want to." I have never wanted to.

My conclusion is that the marketing people for the providers of TV service are all women. They know full well that the like species will jump on a package with bunches of channels like a shoe sale.

She has shoes that she has never worn.

I have two pair and I’m still only going to watch one channel. So there!

PMO
©2011

Things Learned Watching TV

Yogi Berra said, "you can observe a lot by just watching." Well, you can learn a lot by just watching television, and I’m not talking about the cable channels. Truth is that I don’t watch much TV, maybe an hour or so per day. Therefore, I admit I may not be an expert on what it is that the networks are trying to communicate. But, here are just a few of the things that I am barraged with every time I turn on the set:

Sex is the most important thing to everybody - men, women and children. It is perfectly normal to talk about sex at all times and engage in sex with any and everybody. Mixed company conversations should always include reference to male genitalia with an occasional mention of female biological functions.

While we are on sex, homosexual behavior is normal, acceptable and should be taught to children before they choose a heterosexual lifestyle. Even in "straight" male bonding, there is nothing wrong with a little kissing and touching.

Everyone should use language that used to be offensive and forbidden except in the men’s locker room. I don’t remember George Carlin’s seven words not to say, but I think I’ve heard most of them on one sit-com or another.

Women are physically stronger and tougher than men and crave sex more. They are also a lot smarter and more often are portrayed in the role of boss - I already knew that.

Everyone should be tolerant of others except Christians, Jews and conservative rational logical thinkers.

Celebrities are much smarter than people who spend all their time learning and working, so whatever they say is the "gospel."

Normal people take drugs, drink alcohol by the gallon and really don’t know who their real parents are.

As I said, I only watch TV very few hours per week. Maybe if I watched more I could learn a lot more.

The lesson I have learned from TV is that I am not normal.

I knew that.

PMO
©2011

7 Billion

In case you live in a cave and haven’t heard, the population of the world is now seven billion. I don’t know who counted, but I’m not going to ask for a recount.

To put this into perspective, I naturally have questions. Does this mean that in the future we will have to apply for a parking space when we’re born? At birth, should a baby be issued a birth certificate and a number for faster service - now serving 699,999,999,999? Just how long we will have to wait to get into the rest room? If only half work, what are the others going to do all day?  They may have to stand because we will soon run out of room to sit down.  And, will Walmart have to open all the registers?

This is a mind boggling thing. And, in just a few years, the numbers persons say there will be ten billion.

I hope they don’t all move to my burg. I think we have an ordinance against it.

PMO
©2011

Halloween 2

My financial controller is out of town for a few days and left me in charge of trick or treaters. She gave me specific instructions that I am not to hand out cans of pork and beans. I assured her that the beans are a lot healthier than candy and have plenty of fiber. She was still not impressed and made me swear that I would not put cans in the little monsters’ bags, buckets or whatever they collect in.

In the spirit of the day, after she left, I can up with another plan. I got a haggard old witch costume. I don’t need the mask. Then I drug out an old pot that looks like a witches’ caldron.

I’m going to put on the costume, build a fire, put the pot on the fire and pour the beans into the pot. I’ll call it, "witches brew." It won’t be hard for me to "cackle" and stir the pot. When the little grubbers come by, I’ll just put a big spoon full of beans into their sacks. Talk about your tricks!

What else could I do with all these cans of pork and beans? I hate those things.

Happy Halloween. Hey-hey-hey.

PMO
©2011

Halloween

Halloween is a time for kids to dress up and go trick or treat. At least it used to be. In our society today, you are better off not taking children door to door to gather candy. These are scary times. But, Halloween is for scary, right? Dress up in ghost or ghoul costumes and try to frighten someone younger. Don’t try to frighten younger people if you are a grumpy old man. There is risk of bodily injury. They could hurt themselves laughing so hard.

What would really scare Americans on Halloween? I have made a list. You knew I would, so here goes: breweries stopped making beer; all sporting events cancelled; satellite and cable TV shut down; internet interruption; cell phones go dead (that’s an ER event); pizza declared poisonous; and finally, sex in any form declared illegal.

I think I’ve scared myself. I’ll just go and get ready to hand out cans of pork and beans to any trick or treaters that come by my place. Now that’s scary!

PMO
©2011

Jesus' Name Unconstitutional

According to World Net Daily, a board of county commissioners in North Carolina is asking the Supreme Court for help. Its members don’t believe they should have to forbid volunteers from mentioning the name of Jesus in prayers offered before their meetings.

But the American Civil Liberties Union and Americans United for Separation of Church and State are standing by their victory in a U.S. circuit court decision that states even "a solitary reference to Jesus Christ" in invocations before the Forsyth County Board of Commissioners’ meetings could do "violence to the pluralistic and inclusive values that a defining feature of American public life."

Judge James Harvie Wilkinson III in the Forth Circuit Court of Appeals wrote that invocations offered in Jesus’ name are inherently "sectarian" and thus should be censored lest they make some attendees feel "uncomfortable, unwelcome and unwilling to participate in ...public affairs."

So as you see, the movement to remove Christianity from our society moves on. I wonder what would have been the case if someone prayed to Allah?

I have no way of knowing what the outcome on this case will be, but I do have a suggestion. Pray in Jesus name if you want to. This is the kind of civil disobedience we could use a little more of.

What would Jesus say? He might say that his name has been unconstitutional ever since He came.

At least they are not feedings the Christians to the lions in America - yet.

I hope if a lion eats me, he gets an upset stomach.

PMO
2011

Sensitivity Training

Floydreports.com carried a story today about a Muslim middle school math teacher who received $75,000 because the school district refused to allow her to make hajj, a once-in-a-lifetime religious requirement. McArthur Middle School in Berkeley, Illinois, must pay and implement a sensitivity training course throughout the district.

Administrators refused to allow the teacher to take unpaid leave because she had been there less than a year, it was just before exams and she was the only instructor in the department. Her union-brokered contract offered her infidel counterparts no comparable leave.

This all happened in 2008, and yesterday, after Department of Justice intervention, the mathematician Muslim was awarded the $75k in compensation and damages.

This incident poses a multitude of questions. Why was the religious requirement not discussed before she was hired? Why would someone be given special privilege because of their religion? What is the DoJ doing involved? What does this mean for Christians and their Holidays?

A few days ago, I read that Hertz fired several Muslims because of their failure to do their jobs because they stopped working several times each day to pray. Does this mean that Hertz should have to pay and implement sensitivity training?

I want to say, that I do appreciate the Muslim dedication to their beliefs. However, in the American culture, it is common place for Christians to "get the ox out of the ditch." Fire and police employees work every year on religious holidays, as do doctors and nurses and others in the health care and protection business.

When are we going to have sensitivity training for Christians? We’re not allowed to even say, "Merry Christmas" in some circles. There has even been an attempt to prevent Christian prayer at funerals.

Naturally, I am especially interested in sensitivity training for Baptist. There is a real need for others to understand why we are so focused on taking up offerings and eating fried chicken - and ribs.

PMO
©2011

Need a Job - See a Celebrity

Dr. Walter Williams had an article last week in the Patriot Post. He pointed out that according to Forbes Celebrity 100 list for 2010, the average top ten celebrities salary, excluding athletes, was just over $100 million. The Wall Street Journal Survey of CEO Compensation, November 2010, revealed that the average salary for the top 10 CEOs was $43 million.

Now obviously there are more CEOs than celebrities, but the point is that the accusers make more than the accused when the subject of "evil rich" comes up. Oprah made $290 million. Heck, Howard Stern made $76 million. For what?

Oprah didn’t provide me with one ounce of food or services that I require daily. Actually, she didn’t even provide me with entertainment, which is what she is paid for. I’ve never watched her show and from what I have heard about it, I am a better person for not watching.

So, my conclusion is that the "protesters" need to move to the celebrity homes.

I’m sure than all celebrities would cheerfully give them jobs. After all, they seem to think that the protesters are wonderful people.

PMO
©2011

Seniors

These remarks are to the Senior Citizens. However, those that have not attained that magic age may discover a truth not known or forgotten. Incidentally, I refer to not yet seniors as SIT’s - Seniors in Training.

The reason the message is to seniors is because you have lived longer, seen more, experienced more and made decisions that you did not want to make. Many of you have children and perhaps grandchildren. You understand how it feels to impact the life of someone you love more than your own. The years have brought the joys, the sorrows, and the regrets of having to take an action that scared the daylights out of you. But, with time and experience you learned how to make more good decisions and fewer bad ones.

In 1968 we were introduced to a new term in our society. Tough love. Merriam Webster defines tough love as ‘love or affectionate concern expressed in a stern or unsentimental manner - as through discipline - especially to promote responsible behavior.’ We have come to think of this as dealing with a rebellious teen or perhaps intervention for an addiction. It is hard to live sixty years or more and not personally know of a case of tough love or even many.

While it is natural to view tough love as being harsh on the one needing help, it often is tougher on the one taking the action required. As the definition states, love is the cause for discipline to promote responsible behavior. As many of you know, it often does hurt you more than the one you love when you have to use discipline.

Today, you and I are faced with a tough love decision that cannot be avoided. Reality is that many have ignored or avoided the inevitable but time has run out. The United States of America must have tough love or it will become as doomed as a drug addict.

I love America. I know that you do too. The question is, how much? In tough love, the one that loves must be willing to go the distance at whatever the cost may be to instill responsible behavior. Our government has behaved irresponsibility for many years - Republicans, Democrats, and Independents. The norm has been to tax and spend with little or no accountability to the citizens from which the revenue is taken. There are so many examples that we surely could not number them of government waste and absurd spending.

We now find ourselves in a vicious debt cycle that is spiraling this once great nation into bankruptcy. Tax and spend has been the rule. It has been said that the golden rule is, "he that has the gold, makes the rule." But, that’s our gold they are spending.

"What can you do about it?" Those are often the first words uttered if you mention the situation we find ourselves in. "I’m just an old man or woman, in many cases in poor health, with little or no money," is what I hear all the time. You can argue that you have put in your time, paid your taxes and did the best you could with what you had. You can say that now it is the young peoples problem. Isn’t that what your predecessors said when you were young? Ladies and gentlemen, if that’s your position, then there is nothing you will do about it. But for those that have one good fight left in them, we must take our country back.

There must be a balanced budget amendment. Anyone knows or should know that you can’t borrow almost half of every dollar spent and expect to survive. Government spending must be controlled with "pork barrel" politics thrown out.

There have to be laws to limit terms in Congress, put government employees, including Congress and the President, under the same health care plans as ordinary citizens with no benefits when they leave office. As it stands today, there is no motivation to empathize with ordinary citizens like you and me.

We must have restoration and protection of funds for Social Security and Medicare. Fraud must be stopped and severe punishment administered for those convicted of the crimes.

English is the National language and we need a law proclaiming it as such. While we should try to accommodate some languages, it is they that should have to press one.

Our borders must be secured and illegal immigrants deported. No more anchor babies - when a person is in our country illegally, their offspring are not ours to support.

This great nation was founded upon Christian principles. Unless we get back to those guiding tenets, we will cease to be. You cannot remove the foundation from a house and expect it to stand.

Can these things happen? Yes. Will they happen? I only know that they will not without a fight. It will take a commitment to stand up and be counted. Letters, phone calls and personal visits to government leaders is what it will take. Remember, "united we stand, divided we fall?" If the seniors in this country stand, then the answer is yes, we will restore America.

And if you are hesitate, because you have been cowed so long that you believe you can’t do anything, I remind you that Patrick Henry said, "The battle, sir, is not to the strong alone; it is to the vigilant, the active, the brave."

PMO
©2011

Beep Beep Veep

According to an article by Kay Daily on GOPUSA today, Human Events’ reporter Jason Mattera may lose his press credentials for asking Joe Biden a question. If you haven’t heard, Jason asked if Biden thought it wise to link the jobs bill to increased rapes if it doesn’t pass. If you haven’t seen the video, it’s on YouTube and is funny.

After hundreds of thousands views on YouTube, a bunch of ink and radio air time, the Veep’s office picked up the phone and called the Senate’s Standing Committee of Correspondents at the Senate Press Gallery. They want Jason’s hide.

I would like to suggest that if Jason gets another shot, he should ask Biden how much is two plus two just so we would know if he can count the number of rapes.

I wonder if England would take the "Colonies" back? God save the Queen!

PMO
©2011

Yo Mama

Here we go again on the OWS folks. I have been thinking again. It seems to me that the mothers of these people should have taught them some life lessons. Apparently not. So, here are a few things their Mama’s should have mentioned a few thousand times:

Life is not fair - never will be.
You are not entitled to what others have.
Work is honorable and the only satisfactory way to get what you want.
There are crazy people in this world - don’t be one of them.
Not everyone is like you and they don’t want to be.
Don’t be somebody’s fool or disposable idiot.
Look both ways before crossing the street.
Don’t do drugs or associate with those that do.
Know what you’re talking about or don’t talk - you learn only by listening.
Look at history before striking out for the future - repeating mistakes is stupid.
Bathe daily and put on clean clothes - all over and under.

Unfortunately it may be too late for these people and those that drive them.

One more. Not everyone likes you. They might like you better if you bathe.

PMO
©2011

Retired People

When I was still in the work place, I was often challenged to motivate employees and outside company contacts. Over the years I worked with a variety of professions and bigger variety of employees. I used a plain approach to employees, treat them well, take care of them when you can and convince them that their job was too important not to be done right and on time. Still, I understood that managing employees is like herding cats.

However, a couple of years ago I decided to organize a retiree group for those that live within a certain geographic area. We meet once per month and eat lunch. Often I arrange for a speaker to join us and present information that should be important to the group. Also, I survey the members to find out what they want to hear. This is where the frustration comes in.

After two years of doing everything I know how to do and asking others for input, I have come to a conclusion. Trying to motivate retirees is a lot like trying to get the residents of a local cemetery up and running.

Getting old is tough, but it’s a lot tougher if you give in.

PMO
©2011

The "News"

I’ve done a lot of jobs in my life and was pretty good at most of them. Well, there was that stint at the drive in movie theater. I only lasted one day there. Don’t ask!

But in my previous lives, I was a pretty dang good investigative reporter. Believe it or not, I presented the facts and let the audience decide their opinion. In broadcasting, you find someone to imitate and then develop a style of your own. I tried hard to be like Chet Huntley and David Brinkley. If you don’t remember them, they were like Joe Friday on Dragnet - just the facts. If you don’t remember Dragnet, then you can stop reading now because you won’t understand anyway.

Somewhere over time, the "news" quit being news and became an entertainment program. Now days the reporters subscribe to the old adage, "never let the truth stand in the way of a good story." Most of what you see and hear may or may not contain many facts. If there is factual information, it is slanted to make the story appear the way the speaker or writer wants it. Don’t believe me? Try watching the "news" and paying attention to what is not said.

Will Rogers said, "all I know is what I read in the papers." If Will were alive today, he would know a lot less than he did - a whole lot less.

PMO
©2011

Veep Beep

VP Biden has stated that unless the current jobs legislation is passed, rapes will increase. Since we are nation of taking ‘polls’, shouldn’t there be a poll of rapist to determine if that is true. Are we to take the word of Joe Biden just because he says so?

I don’t know about you, but if he sees some connection between rape and jobs, he may see invisible rabbits - like Harvey.

Explain how people like him ever got into high office. Doesn’t say much for the rest of us.

At least he’s more entertaining than the ‘flea party’ a.k.a. occupy wall street.

PMO
©2011