Resolve

In all the years I’ve known me, I have never made a new year’s resolution. It has always seemed to me that I would forget what I had resolved or circumstances would have prevented me from doing what ever it was I was supposed to do. But, this year I have come up with something I know I can do regardless of what happens.

I do hereby resolve to get grumpier.

PMO
©2014

Thieves Oil

If you have never heard of thieves oil, four thieves oil, or thieves vinegar, then you would be like me, until recently. While there are variations of the story, it seems that four thieves were stealing from folks that were dying of the Bubonic Plague, in Medieval times. The thieves were caught and tried, but he judge offered leniency if they would share how they avoided contracting the disease.

It is also reported that during this time period that physicians were seen wearing long black robes, wide brimmed hats, and masks that appeared to have a beak. The masks were said to contain a combination of herbs, spices and essential oils that the doctors would breathe to keep themselves safe from those afflicted with the illness. Their long robes were also said to be doused in a similar fragrant concoction.

Strange as it may sound, in the land of those that use herbs and spices to ward off disease, thieves oil is used today to prevent bacterial and virus infections.

Because my financial controller has recently become ill, it was suggested that I need to use thieves oil to protect myself from catching her malady.

I didn’t realize how hard it would be to find one of those mask and a long black robe.

Amazon.com doesn’t have them.

PMO
©2014

School Bus

On my buying trips, I don’t shop, I have to take a highway that goes past a gentlemen’s club, a.k.a. strip joint. One morning recently as I stopped for the traffic light in front of the place, there was a school bus exiting the parking lot. Naturally, that caused me to have questions.

Was the driver turning around in the parking lot? Was he just leaving the club? Did he drop off a load of students? Or did he just stop and peek into a window.

When the light changed, I soon caught up with the bus and there were no students on it. There should have been at that time of day. I did notice that the driver had a really big grin.

If we had field trips like that when I was in school, I would have stayed longer.

PMO
©2014

Fire And Ice

I really don’t know what a "fire and ice" facial is, but my dermatologist has a sign in her office that her assistant has them on sale. My mind conjures up visions of gasoline and a bag of crushed ice. First, you set your face on fire and then put it out with the ice.

I’m sure it has something to do with making one look younger and sexier. The last time I asked her what would be the least expensive treatment to make be better looking, she put a paper bag over my head. The bag cost me $1.00.

I hope insurance covers it.

PMO
©2014

Drug Testing

According to a story in the Detroit Free Press from the Associated Press, Michigan Governor Rick Snyder has signed legislation that creates a drug testing program for adult welfare recipients who are suspected of using drugs. A one year pilot program in a limited number of counties is supposed to start next year.

Basically, the program will require recipients or applicants to take a drug test or suffer consequences of loss of benefits for a period of time or even permanently in some cases.

Naturally I think this is a great idea. There is just something wrong with paying people to be drug addicts. I know that the "nanny nazis" and some others disagree with me, but "So what!"

I think we need to take programs like this to a higher lever, like congress.

And, we need to implement a "stupid" test for them too.

PMO
©2014

Survival

The way you measure success in a big family Christmas gathering is, "Did you survive?" When you get parents, kids, grand kids, great grand kids, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, great uncles, great aunts and the list goes on, the challenge is to survive. This is the primary reason such gatherings are held only once or twice per year.

I discovered a long time ago to find a spot out of the way and be very quite. Everyone seems to like for me to do that. I’ve tried joining in on the conversation at previous gatherings, but that did not work out well.

The upside was that my ace number one daughter, an only child, baked pecan pies. I think this was the best ever. There was a small slice left, so I ate it so it wouldn’t go bad.

I try to be helpful on Christmas Day.

PMO
©2014

Merry Christmas

I wish you the Spirit of Christmas.

©2014

Letter To Santa

Dear Santa,

All I want for Christmas is for politicians, race baiters, Christian haters, talking heads news people and self appointed nannies to come down with a good case of lockjaw.

Talk about peace on earth.

PMO
©2014

Christmas Guest

Several years ago, country music performer Louis Marshall "Grandpa" Jones recorded a poem about the meaning of Christmas. It seems that a lot of people have lost sight or never knew what Christmas is really about. The poem is a bit long, but so is the message.

It happened one day near December's end
Two neighbors called on an old friend
And they found his shop so meager and lame
Made gay with a thousand bows of green
And Conrad was sittin' with face ashined
When he suddenly stopped as he stiched a twine
And he said "Oh friends at dawn today
When the cock was crowin' the night away
The Lord appeared in a dream to me
And said 'I'm comin' your guest to be.'
So I've been busy with feet astir
And strewin' my shop with branches of fir
The table is spread and the kettle is shined
And over the rafters the holly is twined
Now I'll wait for my Lord to appear
And listen closely so I will hear His step
As He nears my humble place
And I'll open the door and look on His face"
So his friends went home and left Conrad alone
For this was the happiest day he'd known
For long since his family had passed away
And Conrad had spent many a sad Christmas day
But he knew with the Lord as his Christmas guest
This Christmas would be the dearest and best
So he listened with only joy in his heart

And with every sound he would rise with a start
And look for the Lord to be at his door
Like the vision he'd had a few hours before
So he ran to the window after hearin' a sound
But all he could see on the snow-covered ground
Was a shabby begger who's shoes were torn
And all of his clothes were ragged and worn
But Conrad was touched and he went to the door
And he said "You know, your feet must be frozen and sore
I have some shoes in my shop for you
And a coat that'll keep you warmer too"
So with grateful heart, the man went away
But Conrad noticed the time of day
And wondered what made the Lord so late
And how much longer he'd have to wait
When he heard a knock he ran to the door
But it was only a stranger once more
A bent ol' lady with a shawl of black
With a bundle of kindlin' piled on her back
She asked for only a place to rest
But that was reserved for Conrad's great guest
But her voice seemed to plead "Don't send me away
Let me rest for awhile on Christmas day"
So Conrad brewed her a steamin' cup
And told her to sit at the table and sup
But after she left he was filled with dismay
For he saw that the hours were slippin' away
And the Lord hadn't come as He said He would
And Conrad felt sure he'd misunderstood
When out of the stillness he heard a cry
"Please help me, and tell me where am I!"
So again he opened his friendly door
And stood disappointed as twice before
It was only a child who'd wandered away
And was lost from her family on Christmas day
Again, Conrad's heart was heavy and sad
But he knew he should make the little girl glad
So he called her in and he wiped her tears
And quieted all her childish fears
Then he led her back to her home once more
But as he entered his own darkened door
He knew the Lord was not comin' today
For the hours of Christmas had passed away
So he went to his room and he knelt down to pray
And he said "Dear Lord, why did You delay?
What kept You from comin' to call on me?
For I wanted so much Your Face to see"

When soft in the silence, a voice he heard
"Lift up your head, for I kept my word
Three times my shadow crossed your floor
And three times I came to your lonely door
I was the begger with bruised, cold feet
And I was the woman you gave somethin' to eat
I was the child on the homeless street.
Three times I knocked and three times I came in
And each time I found the warmth of a friend
Of all the gifts love is the best
And I was honored to be your Christmas guest."

That’s what Christmas is all about.

©2014

Racist Shopper

By now you should have heard about Moochelle’s claims of having experienced racism. She tells of a woman in a Target store asking her to reach an item from a top shelf - because she is black, not because she is tall. Well! That’s certainly racist!

Several years ago as I was leaving a department store, a well dressed black woman was walking toward the store. Suddenly the heel on one of her shoes broke and down she went onto the pavement. I rushed over to help her. She wasn’t hurt and I helped her get back onto her feet. She thanked me and then she said, "If you weren’t white, I would hug you."

My friend Dave and I used to travel from an Army post together. Dave is black. We often stopped to get something to eat. On one trip he suggested some fried chicken. I like fried chicken. When we stopped in front of the little café, he told me to stay in the car. Some black folks outside starred at him and at me. He came back with a bag of some great fried chicken and we munched as we drove.

There are many more personal experiences that I will not share. I think you get the point.

The Prez says he has been mistaken for a valet while in black tie attire. I wouldn’t trust him with my car. And, if I see her while shopping, I dang sure won’t ask her for any help.

I’ve seen what kind of help they both can be.

PMO
©2014

I Love

The question of the day is, "What do you love?" People are constantly saying they love this or that. "I love my new car," or "I love my new shoes." There is even a TV commercial that suggests that you love your laxative. That’s a hard one to believe.

The issue is that the word, love, has become almost worthless. If one loves everything, even laxatives, then it is no wonder that there is doubt when one says, "I love you." "Do you love me as much as you love your new car?" How about your house, gym shoes, fried pickles, or new computer?

To say, "I love" should have meaning. Real meaning. Like love for parents, spouse, siblings, your country or a select few friends. Before you say, "Oh, I just love.......," ask yourself a simple question.

Are you willing to die for it?

PMO
©2014

Cuba

Now the POTUS wants to restore relations with Cuba. Why not, he wants to be buddies with all the dictators. And, of course setting up an embassy in Cuba will require congressional approval. In spite of what they say, congress should not be an issue.

I just hope that we get some Cuban cigars out of this deal.

PMO
©2014

From The Files

I’m not exactly sure where the following came from. I found it in some old files from 2010.

"I bet you think this is one of those Christmas letters,
you know the kind where they tell you ma’s cold is better.
Well a Christmas letter, this definitely ain’t.
It’s the Christmas story from somebody that’s not a saint.
You see, it all started a long, long time ago.
Way back before Texans tried to drive on snow.
Now folks this happened before plastic trees with little red balls,
and way back when they didn’t have shopping malls.
Actually, is was even before then,
Whenever it was, let the story begin.
God was looking down at us from his place,
and he thought, I ought to go down and get in their face.
But he knew it wouldn’t do no good, nope, not none.
He knew the only chance we had was to send us his son.
Now baby Jesus was born in a stable, more like a cave.
So it was that a King came to become a slave.
He grew up to tote the load of all sin,
and was given the power to forgive all men.
He said, "when it comes to sin, I’ll carry your load.
Just throw it on my back and let’s get on the road."
Baby Jesus didn’t get a truck load of presents from grandparents afar.
He was just born poor, in Bethlehem, under a star.
That star still shines brightly and will til the end,
long after you forget the presents you got from a friend.
Now, if you are wondering what this story has to do with you,
well, the way the story ends depends on what you do."

©2014

Life Lesson

If one pays attention, there are many things to learn in life. Like don’t stick a butter knife into an electrical outlet or do something else really stupid just because someone dared you to. You should learn to doing good things is better than doing bad things, even if the bad things are fun.

And, if you work hard on trying to do the right things, and have some success, you will have one less thing to worry about.

There's always someone that will worry about what you did wrong.

PMO
©2014

Rock-A-Bye Baby

I hired a tree service to remove a rather large tree in front of our house. It had been planted too close to the house and had caused some problems with promise of more. The tree service is typical of East Texas. It has taken about a month for them to get to the job. A week or more was lost because of deer hunting season. It’s true.

On with the story. The crew arrived about 9:00 a.m. and began the job. I am amazed they could cut down the huge tree without letting limbs crash on to the house. All went well and they stopped for lunch about noon. Then it happened. Louis wife called. She told him that their baby was coming now! So, Louis, the expert trimmer, left as any responsible father would. That left two to clean up what had been cut, with the promise that they would be back.

I’m not complaining. I understand.

I just hope I don’t have to wait until the kid starts school or gets old enough to deer hunt.

PMO
©2014

Law Suit

NBC News reports ten families touched by the Newtown, Sandy Hook School massacre have filed a wrongful death suit against companies that made, distributed and sold the Bushmaster AR-15 rifle that Adam Lanza used to kill 20 children and six staffers at the elementary school two years ago. The argument is that the gun is a military assault weapon that should never have been on the general market.

Certainly the grieving process will take years and my heart felt thoughts for these people are real. It was a horrible event. How can anyone directly involved ever recover?

But, now it appears that they have become victims a second time. Anti-gun thinking has obviously found it’s way into these families. It just may be that they are being used to further an agenda that otherwise they would not. Emotions are powerful and easily manipulated.

Guns, knives, rocks, or clubs don’t kill people. It is the person or persons that use them to take lives that is the problem. An AR-15 (civilian gun) is not an automatic assault weapon. It is both a sport and hunting rifle. To sue the manufacturer is similar to suing a car maker because someone deliberately crashed into another car and killed an entire family.

Pray that these families find the peace that goes beyond understanding.  And, that they understand this is a dangerous world with dangerous deranged people.

And, since the beginning of time, no one has come up with a solution to stop them.

PMO
©2014

Trial By TV

I for one am tired of all the protest about police officers not being indicted for performance of their duties. Notice, I did not say they were innocent or guilty of charges the media and protesters want to levy against them, but I am willing to go along with grand juries since they have information we don’t.

As I’ve said before, follow the money and you’ll find the real reason for organizing the protest. Yes, people have the right to protest peacefully. But, when you have criminals burning and looting to protest what they think was done to other criminals, it just doesn’t make any sense. Is trial by television what they want? Perhaps we should let Judge Judy rule on every case where an officer’s action are questionable. Or, maybe Judge Joe Brown. I like him. Judy is not one of my favorites.

The problem with trial by TV is that when you have a few hundred or even thousands passing judgement, there are about 350 million or so that are not protesting.

The protesters lose.

PMO
©2014

Corporate Medicine

Over several years there has been a lot of discussion about socialized medicine. It is obvious that we are headed that way or maybe we are already there. But, there is an another type that is already in place - corporate medicine.

Investment groups have bought hospitals, doctors clinics, and dental offices. And, they are profit driven. Simply put, profits have priority over patients. In an effort to reduce healthcare cost, many doctors now have physician assistants or nurse practitioners. I’m not suggesting that these are bad, but they are not doctors. Basically they follow an outline/procedure for diagnosis and treatment. It’s like vaccinating cattle. One shot fits all. That means you have to fall into the herd, giving up your individuality and special needs. People aren’t made that way.

We are common only to a point, and while the basics are the same, each one of us is a little different. For example, I don’t well with most the medications I’ve been prescribed. Recently I was given an antibiotic that caused me to want to die. The nurse practitioner didn’t listen to me when I told her that I don’t tolerate drugs very well. But, I was in and out of the office in just a few minutes. That means money. The more patients you see, the more money that flows into the business.

I go to a dermatologist that has gone into a private practice because an investment group bought out the clinic where she worked. She explained the new rules were to turn out the billings and keep the cost down. No more getting calls after office hours unless you can bill them.

Investors and insurance companies think corporate medicine is a wonderful thing. And, it blends in with socialized medicine quite nicely.

Be careful what you tell the doc the next time you have to see one, or the PA or NP. If you lead them to think that you may be pregnant and you are male, you may not be happy with the outcome

However, if you are male and pregnant, you may get rich, if you make it through the delivery.

PMO
©2014

Both Are Right

Jonathan Gruber, the architect of "Obamacare" says the American people are stupid. Comedian Ron White says you can’t fix stupid.

It does appear they both are right.

PMO
©2014

Torture

Someone is going to have to explain to me why the interrogation tactics of the CIA needed to be released to anyone, especially our enemies. There are people in this world that want us dead and all the report does is put up a roadblock for the CIA to do its job. As usual, it’s politics.

When we were attacked at Pearl Harbor, do you not think that there were actions taken to get information necessary to defend our country? Why should there be a difference in the attack on our mainland?

Strange as it may sound, there are people in this country that will do anything to keep us safe, including laying down their lives. To listen to the media and politicians, we are the bad guys. And, again, as usual, there is serious doubt about what was released. It is an obvious intent to cut a line of defense. Wonder why?

If the CIA or any agency wants to torture people, all they have to do is make them listen to our politicians and media. And, if you really want to destroy an enemy, make them watch daytime television.

And, just so you will know, there is no such thing as Senate Intelligence Committee.

PMO
©2014

Expiration Dates

When you grocery shop, do you check the expiration date on what you buy? I do. As a matter of fact, I go to extreme. On some packaged products, the date is hard to find, but I look at everyone on the shelf until I find the date. In the meat counter, I drag out all the meat products and look for the one that is the most fresh. I try to find one that still moo’s, oinks, or clucks. I want fresh.

On the other hand, groceries place the oldest products on the front so they can keep their inventory rotated. And, the average shopper just grabs the one in front, but not me.

Some people think I take this to extreme. Maybe. Maybe not.

Why don’t they put dates on toilet tissue?  TV ads proclaim such products that make you feel fresh.

Inquiring minds want to know, when the freshness expires.

PMO
©2014

Naked

One of my pet peeves is the rising cost of food. And, it surprises me that not a lot of other people have noticed. Food cost is higher in East Texas and when you add the national rising cost, it is really high. Several times in the past few months, I’ve told my financial controller that I am going to have to stop eating.

Now, I am upset about the cost of clothing. I had to do some clothes shopping on line and prices have gone up over last year when I shopped. So, I now have told my financial controller that not only am I going to have to stop eating, I am going to have to go naked.

I bet when I do gather enough coins to go food shopping - naked - somebody will notice.

In our society, maybe not.

PMO
©2014

Handy Man's Secret Weapon

Red Green, played by Steve Smith, was a handyman on Canadian TV from 1991 until April 2006. The show was a spoof about a television show directed to men about being handy. What amazes me is that I was introduced to the program by a woman and recently found out that my neighbor was a loyal fan of the program. Her husband never watched it.

The show was about "fixing" things. And, more often than not, Red chose the "handy man’s secret weapon" to do the fixing - duct tape. I was truly inspired by the show and just this week, I applied duct tape where a part was going to cost me $50. My financial controller’s laptop computer has a connection port for an external monitor, but there are no screw holes to make it secure, like there is on a desktop. Therefore, the plug does not stay in. The weight of the cable would cause the plug to lose connection. After she mentioned it several hundred times, I did some research and discovered I could buy a USB connection on one end with a VGA (monitor) plug on the other. But, I had to order it and pay the fifty bucks.

Light a light bulb lighting in my brain, I got the idea that if Red Green could do it, so could I. I got out a roll of duct tape. I have more than one. In short order, I now have attached the cable and it works fine.

If it had not worked, I had a stand by plan. Red always said, "Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati"

Pseudo-Latin for "When all else fails, play dead"

PMO
©2014

Peace On Earth

Listen up. I have come up with another one of my wonderful plans. We hear a lot about peace on earth this time of year.  If everyone truly wants peace on earth, all we have to do is not fight on a religious holiday. If you count all the variations of the religions in the world, there are about 4000 to 5000. Each one of them has holidays of one sort or another. So, we just need an international law that does not allow fighting on a religious holiday.

It doesn’t matter which religion you believe, you must agree to observe peace for other religions. And, when you add in other holidays, you pretty well come up with no days that you can fight. If you live in East Texas, you also have to take out all of deer hunting season.

See, peace on earth is not all that difficult.

PMO

©2014

Worth Trying

In a recent issue of the comic strip "Shoe", there is a conversation between Shoe and Senator Batson D. Belfry. Shoe made a comment about shrinking government and the expected reply from Belfry was that people are always saying we need to shrink government. Then he made the mistake of asking Shoe if he had any ideas on what is needed to shrink government. Shoe replied, "A tube of Preparation H the size of the Hindenburg."

I wish I had said that.

PMO
©2014

Don't Understand

I am not a genius, but I’m not stupid. My IQ is in the upper range of normal, which is amazing because not much else of me is normal. Especially my thinking. My problem is that there are so many things I don’t understand. Case in point is all the protest going on around the country.

Right now we have two criminals who lost their lives. I am not saying that the police were innocent or guilty. Just like everyone else that was not on either grand jury, I don’t know. The problem I have is understanding why people are protesting, burning and looting. And, a majority of the burning and looting is being done by blacks on black owned businesses. In one case, a black female police Sargent was supervising the take down of a man committing a crime.

These things are confusing to me. Perhaps it is an effort to convince others that the way you deal with racism is to destroy. That makes no sense.

The only two things out of all that’s going on that makes sense to me is the media is doing their best to keep the events going and some "reverends" are making a bunch of money and gaining more notoriety.

I guess they are too afraid to get in there and set some fires and do a little looting.

PMO
©2014

Santa Claus?

My financial controller was talking to a young woman that is of another belief and she asked, "What does Santa Claus have to do with Christmas?" The short answer is absolutely nothing. Santa is not and has never been the reason for celebrating Christmas. However he is good for business.

Christmas is to celebrate the birth of the Christ. And, it is probable that He was not born in December. Some where around April is the best guess, for there were shepherds abiding in the fields. Shepherds don’t abide in the fields in the winter time. They stay home and keep the sheep protected from the cold.

Why then do we celebrate Christmas in December? What else is there to do in December? In April, everybody is working on their income tax return.

And, nobody has any money left after taxes.

Not even Santa.

PMO
©2014

Thought For The Day

As long as you’re alive, there’s a good chance that things can and will change. When you’re dead, you’ve run out of chances.

PMO
©2014

Give It Back

Okay people, I want all of you to give back whatever you took from society. Just because you earned what you have, you should feel guilty. Never mind that you went to school and made sacrifices to improve your self and your earning potential. Forget about working long hours and scrimping and saving. Don’t mention that you have helped others. And, don’t even think that because you don’t have a lot, you are exempt. You should feel guilty about whatever you have.

Under no circumstances should you hesitate giving back to those that don’t and won’t work. You should feel obligated to support them. And, don’t come up with some lame excuse that you won’t help those that won’t help themselves. It is your duty, your obligation, your responsibility and your liability to give back. After all, you took it.

That’s stealing and you know you are guilty.

PMO
©2014